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Host_John: so if you don't care how the salespeople dress, why wear a sut every day
Mr._Rock_Hard: check out some of the funeral directors in the bronx Ny with the rings on every finger earings
ralph: do you think a woman Fd should wear pants one a funeral
JFager: when I go to a funeral home I expect to see the people in suits
christy72034: i think the families appreciate the fd wearing a suit
Mr._Rock_Hard: sure
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Host_John: I think women funeral directors should look just as nice as the men
ralph: they do
christy72034: nothing wrong with a women fd wearing suit with pants
ralph: some look like hookerssssssssssssss
Mr._Rock_Hard: unless your cleaning the funeral home
Host_John: if it is a dress or skirt it should be at the knee and no cleavage
christy72034: absoultley john
ralph: look like they come from the club
christy72034: but most of our women fd's wear pant suits
Host_John: I know plenty of women in funeral service Ralph and I have NEVER seen a woman fd look that way!
ralph: your attire says a lot lot when the family comes in the door
ralph: in the south is a mess
Host_John: Ralph I don't think grieving families much care how you look they are in your door for your service
ralph: I just think if you in business you aim to please and look greatr
Mr._Rock_Hard: oh then you all really need see the girls in the bronx Shirt Skurt Everything hanging out big hoop earings heels
Host_John: I was looking at guide lines today for dressing
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Mr._Rock_Hard: makeup
Host_John: let me go after them and we can agree or disagree on what we want for our work outfit
ralph: its sad when some of the funeral homes are the took of the town and people go else where
Mr._Rock_Hard: florida wear white tux black bow tie
ralph: please cloths should be clean by the funeral home and they also shoudl provide uniforms, employee should not have to buy them
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undrtkr1: on funeral days, its suits, ties, white shirts...use to wear matching suits and ties, provided by company...but company decided it was to expensive???
Host_John: ok what do you think? Be conservative in your choice, use clothing that covers you up. Ladies a button up shirt to avoid showing cleavage and wear a skirt that reaches the knee at least. Gentlemen a tie and shiny shoes. Suits, skirts and slacks are all appropriate choices as long as they are conservative. If the deceased was of a particular faith, ask an elder in the family beforehand if there are any particular traditions to follow.
ralph: So its not our problems as an employee
undrtkr1: non-funeral days its casual dress, consisting of coat, tie, dress slacks for employees...management gets away with shorts, t-shirt, golf shirts...go figure!!!
Host_John: same goes on everywhere with managment
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Host_John: go to any small business and see how the boss dresses
ralph: And they want the app. fd to look nice and make the money for them, I think that wrong everybody should have have suit and tie
ralph: country
Host_John: we have to buy clothes so why not wear what makes the boss happy
Host_John: and the customer happy too
ralph: you do and they still talk trach
Host_John: we want to be pleasing
ralph: exactly
undrtkr1: anyone else here?
Host_John: yes we are all here
Host_John: most are just reading the text
Host_John: once again
Host_John: looking for suggestions to build on
Host_John: Be conservative in your choice, use clothing that covers you up. Ladies a button up shirt to avoid showing cleavage and wear a skirt that reaches the knee at least. Gentlemen a tie and shiny shoes. Suits, skirts and slacks are all appropriate choices as long as they are conservative. If the deceased was of a particular faith, ask an elder in the family beforehand if there are any particular traditions to follow.
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ralph: ok that could still the owner has to set the tone
Host_John: I am looking for suggestions as to what will do on non funeral and no visitation days
harper: I don't think anyone calls a fh for the type of clothing they are wearing, I am in a small town and some times I meet with the family with shirt and pants, no tie as that is the way they see me
Host_John: harper makes a good point
ralph: Look nice shirt tie slack, women skirt and blouse
Host_John: woman can wear pants too!
ralph: no promblem then John
Tina2624: I generally wear pants and jacket with a smart blouse not necessarily white
undrtkr1: funeral days, its suit, tie, white shirt...use to wear matching outfits provided by company...but they decided it was to expensive. Non-funeral days its casual, coat, tie, slacks for employees...management gets away with shorts, t-shirt, golf shirts, etc. ... go figure!
Host_John: sounds great Tina
Host_John: we used to buy suits and dresses but the accountant said we could not write it off
Host_John: we are debating the issue now
ralph: that there promblem
Host_John: accountant wants us to give employees a 1099 for the clothing expenses
ralph: Once again suits
Tina2624: My boss expects us all to look smart, doesn't like us looking casual
Host_John: clothing has to be exclusive to workplace
ralph: thats wrong, as in to make you pay for it
ralph: that right
Host_John: how does the boss tell you what to wear Tina
undrtkr1: thats corp. America Ralph...want you to look the part, but at the employees expense!
Host_John: is it written or just verbalized
undrtkr1: we have a written dress code where I work
Tina2624: Verbal.
ralph: none of the above
<ralph> sent sound: break-dishes
undrtkr1: even spells out what type of ties that can and cannot be worn...as well as hair styles, facial hair...
undrtkr1: does allow women to wear pants, but must be worn with a blazer
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Host_John: OPEN FORUM FUNERAL CHATTER UNTIL THE TOP OF THE HOUR
Host_John: Age, gender, location check
Host_John: 60, M, Lovely Lowell Massachusetts USA
undrtkr1: 48, male, Nc
ralph: all of that good but people must abide
Aurora28: 58, female, Nc
JFager: 55,m, Nyc
Tina2624: Female 46 uk
harper: 63, m, wv
ralph: 23 male Ga
Aurora28: I'd say there's a well rounded group here tonight. Hello, everyone!
ralph: hi their
harper: hello
undrtkr1: Hello from Nc as well!
Aurora28: I saw that...we won't give any other details though...
ralph: former nc native here
Aurora28: My husband is from Ga
ralph: oky
undrtkr1: that still counts Ralph
ralph: sure does
ralph: any owners of funeral home on here
Aurora28: my dad and I own ours
undrtkr1: corp. employee here
Aurora28: he opened it in 1946
harper: I am
ralph: what do you execpt of your employee
ralph: as in how they dress
ralph: do you set the tome
ralph: sorry tone
harper: we are in a small town, dress in suits for the funeral and sport coats and suits for visitations, but if no business is going shirts and slacks
Aurora28: People here expect us to be in our Sunday best whenever we are at the Fh...many even expect it at the grocery store. Since this is a small town, most people know that...but it sure is hard sometimes to get it across to new per-case people.
ralph: I think thats good
undrtkr1: I agree Aurora28...have just gotten to the point in my area where the family will ask you to take your coat off...they seem to be more comfortable if the Fd is dressed according to their dress...
Aurora28: right
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undrtkr1: use to only see families at arr. conf. in their Sunday best...but not anymore...you see everything now...even on visitations!!!
Aurora28: Them, but not us... We still have to dress up.
undrtkr1: you can say that again...!
harper: some times less dress is better with certain families
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Aurora28: can you share an example?
undrtkr1: I consider myself from the "old school"...29 years in Fs...dont feel right dressed down...but getting use to the idea...its hard to operate a crematory in a suit and tie...esp. in the deep South...what with the humidity!!!
harper: I think they are more comfortable
Aurora28: I'll confess that I'm not in my Sunday best when I deliver chairs, etc. to the home.
harper: well I have been licensed since 1966
harper: owner since since 1979
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Aurora28: Hello mactj2 and Pog70
POG70: Evening, all
Aurora28: Before you two arrived, we did an age, gender, state roll call.
POG70: That's why I waited...didn't wanta tell my age
Aurora28: Roflmao!
mactj2: Good evening 28 M Massachusetts
Aurora28: Our host, John, is from Lowell, but you know that.
mactj2: right
Host_John: Yes Lovely Lowell Massachusetts
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Host_John: back on topic in 16 minutes
POG70: Runway to Heaven
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Aurora28: Runway to heaven?
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Host_John: Yes and very proud of it
ralph: proud of
POG70: had to pu;; mach2 back in
POG70: ll
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Aurora28: Phone....back another night. Bye!
cnmmnc: Good evening Ladies, Gentlemen, Etc...
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POG70: The man with the impossible to pronounce name
undrtkr1: Good Evening!
ralph:
POG70: <<<etc.
Tina2624: Good night all, it's passed my bed time. I'll try to join in a little earlir next week
cnmmnc: Hmm, Black for Funerals, Plain dark suit for other days
undrtkr1: Night Tina
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Host_John: Hi Ron
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Host_John: Night Tina
Host_John: Tina is from England
RonHast: Good evening...
mactj2: we wear black for funerals only, change into blue blazer/tan slacks for day and office wear
POG70: Great! She is up late
mactj2: grey slacks for winter
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pafuneralguy: you are totally correct.....err on the overdressed side
cnmmnc: if you get into the habit of dressing to a T early it never leaves you, I was shocked at how the students come into mortuary school, I pity the funeral homes stupid enough to hire them...
Mr._Rock_Hard: i have Dress off White pants light blue shirt navy jacket nice tie
pafuneralguy: amen to that
Mr._Rock_Hard: for viewing days
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POG70: When I was in mortuary school, we were expected to turn out for a night wmbalming in suit and tie
Mr._Rock_Hard: I Look very Nice
cnmmnc: yeah, I thought that's how I was too
RonHast: This isn't a rocket science issue. It's all relates to the dignity of what we do -- which seems to satisfy most, especially if we are kind, courteous, and don't appear to be taking this matter as a casual event.
RonHast: Even if the matter is a direct disposition. It all deserves serious and careful consideration.
undrtkr1: i totally agree Ron...and with what people are spending...you should at least look the part...this personalization thing is a little far fetched in my opinion
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Host_John: I don't think people make much notice of how the arranger is dressed
Mr._Rock_Hard: You Go Boy With your Bad Self
pafuneralguy: I have dressed down to give talks to bikers......i had a good-old-boy funeral this year and the family hauled the casket on an old pickup truck that they modified to my specs....i led the service in my muddy jeap and they loved it
Host_John: on funerals people do take notice
POG70: I think they do
undrtkr1: in my area they take notice, thats for sure...
Mr._Rock_Hard: nyc Funeral directors are the Best Dressed
RonHast: I still believe that the respect expressed in the First Call, in the middle of the night is impressive, pro or con. Think of the attendants at the time of death. Who impresses them? Those who just slide in there because it's night time and no family will be there? Impressions of care givers are imp
Host_John: the reall tell is when you visit other funeral homes and mortuarys
POG70: I've had families remark about how another fd dresses too far down
Host_John: how do you expect the will look when they answer the door?
Host_John: shouldn't you look the same
Mr._Rock_Hard: name tag
pafuneralguy: do any of your firms have uniforms
Host_John: Name tag is essential for funerals and visitaitons
undrtkr1: we are required to wear name tags, no uniforms here
POG70: Identical suits and ties
Mr._Rock_Hard: i work in westchester
POG70: plus nametags
Mr._Rock_Hard: its pretty simple
Host_John: we wear matching ties and nametags on funerals
pafuneralguy: I am thinking about uniforms for my staff......can be expensive to start
RonHast: Thanks for the comments. Nice to see most are in favor of up, rather than down. Cordially, Ron
POG70: looks sahrp
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Host_John: check with your accountant it may not be deductable and a 1099 issue
POG70: I must quit trying to type in the dark
diggerffs: Black suit w/white shirt for Catholic funerals, navy blue suit w/white shirt for Protestant funeral. Matching ties.
pafuneralguy: I feel you are correct
cnmmnc: I guess it's easier to conform to the rules of where youre working, that's the safest bet
pafuneralguy: why those colors...are we prot's not worth a black suit?.......lol
cnmmnc: lol
Mr._Rock_Hard: I still look hot in my suit and tie
Host_John: shiny shoes!
diggerffs: Mix it up a bit.
pafuneralguy: shoes are very important
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Host_John: put a full length mirror out
diggerffs: I'ma Prot. Like the navy blue!!
Host_John: check your hair
undrtkr1: what hair...lol
pafuneralguy: I do not wear black often at all....i also wear alot of light color shirts
POG70: Mon-blue suit, Tues-grey suit, Wed-gold suit, Thursday, other blue suit, Fri-other grey suir, Sat, brown suit, Sun-black suit
Host_John: how many bad hair days have you seen people pictures on TV and Newspapers
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undrtkr1: we are not allowed to wear colored shirts...only white
diggerffs: We try to have our women directors wear the same matching colors. It is tough to buy male/female matching suits tho.
pafuneralguy: I feel that is a little much to not permit
cnmmnc: I remember looking at pictures of my first boss from the 60's and1970's, it was a hoot and a hollar
Host_John: any color on non funeral days
Mr._Rock_Hard: i have more people give me numbers
pafuneralguy: who cares
Mr._Rock_Hard: i wear all kinds of colors
Host_John: those were the best days the 60s and 70s
undrtkr1: policy and procedure calls for only white shirts...and personalized ties are forbidden
Mr._Rock_Hard: white shirt and black ties on funerals
phan2om: How do you expect sales reps to be dressed?
cnmmnc: then by the same token I know practicioners who wear stripped trousers and a tailcoat for funerals
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undrtkr1: corp. prefers dark suits...not to keen on bright casual dress
pafuneralguy: I am also thinking of providing support staff.....uniform type clothes
Host_John: what is a personalzed tie Undrtkr
POG70: One firm I worked in furnished one style and color of suit and tie, Bought one a year. So, everybody had several identical suits,
cnmmnc: frank e. campbell does that
Mr._Rock_Hard: yes
pafuneralguy: how many suits should we provide employees
undrtkr1: one that may have a flag or other design on it...i have a children of the world tie...have adopted children...the tie has all nationalities of kids on it...its a no-no
Host_John: POG I would love my accountant to talk to their accountant, we cannot do company provided suits
pafuneralguy: we do pay for all dry cleaning for entire staff to ensure all are clean and pressed
Host_John: wow Undrtkr
POG70: In the fifties, I worked at a firm where everyone wore charcoal grey flannel suits, except the director on a funeral...he wore black and grey striped trousers.
Mr._Rock_Hard: I Love The Guys at Frank E Campbells
Mr._Rock_Hard: and Riverside
Sam_Moore: J.c. Penny has nice navy suits for ladies, they are fashionable and not too expensive
Mr._Rock_Hard: Now They know how to dress
POG70: Well, they do...many do. Whether they get a deduction for it I don't know
Host_John: Sam they have the same for Men too
Host_John: POG we were going to have to give 1099s for provided clothing
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cnmmnc: every funeral director should go to a service there and just watch and learn, dont say a word, be as quiet as a mouse, just take it in and learn
Mr._Rock_Hard: at Campbells
diggerffs: There are many shades of navy blue. It is tought to get the exact shades in men's and women's suits. Usually we end up getting close colors
POG70: I've never seen a 1099 and I've been wearing fh-furnished suits for years
Mr._Rock_Hard: Oh Yeah Baby
cnmmnc: yes
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pafuneralguy: you are lucky then
Mr._Rock_Hard: and see how many phone numbers you will get
pafuneralguy: how many employee's do they have digger
POG70: Sam slipped in
undrtkr1: i use to work for an independent that provided suits, shirts, ties and even shoes...never saw a 1099 either...but that was years ago...lol
pafuneralguy: I am sorry....that was for Pog70
diggerffs: I have five employees. Three women, two men
pafuneralguy: do you 1099
POG70: pa, one has thirty-five or so
Sam_Moore: if all else fails give them matching blazers and ties
pafuneralguy: wow....that would break me...i have 20 full time right now
POG70: I know an Sci firm with four locations and scads of employees...they all wear company suits
Mr._Rock_Hard: some funeral homes tell you what to wear i am surprised they don't tell you what color boxer shorts to wear
POG70: no 1099s
pafuneralguy: we require briefs......lol
Host_John: well Ill ask my accountant to do more homework on the issue
Sam_Moore: i wear pantaloons!!
cnmmnc: lol
Host_John: I dont mind buying the clothing but I do not want to hand out 1099s
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pafuneralguy: would you buy mine then John
POG70: Of course, a couple of the suits are so tacky-looking i wouldn;t wear them fro personal use
Mr._Rock_Hard: westchester Ny Require Boxer shorts
Host_John: LOL
Sam_Moore: buy the clothes and expense it out...be aware if u require a uniform you have to pay for part of the cleaning
Host_John: just for my guys and gals
Mr._Rock_Hard: or nothing
POG70: John, don't claim the suits as a deduction\
pafuneralguy: you can simply buy them as burial garments
Host_John: LOL good one pa
cnmmnc: is Odd-lot still in business?
pafuneralguy: I am serious
POG70: One fh does pay for cleaning also
Sam_Moore: or buy them for x-mas gifts
Sam_Moore: we get a cleaning allowance in our pay check
Host_John: cash bonus for christmas I think is the way to go
undrtkr1: x-mas gifts...now thats a "hoot"...just like a raise...but thats another issue for another time...lol
Sam_Moore: put some cash in the pockets
Host_John: speaking of another time
cnmmnc: cash is the best
Host_John: any suggestions for a topic????????
pafuneralguy: If I gave my employee's a bonus of clothing.....rather than cash.....i would be the next funeral
JFager: time to go, thank you
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POG70: Set up the suits at a store or tailor.......employees get bonus but must pay tailor for the suits
Mr._Rock_Hard: what about xmas boxer shorts\
undrtkr1:
Mr._Rock_Hard:
cnmmnc: boy I thought my boss was cheap
POG70: awwww, who needs employees?

Sam_Moore: Im thinking, I have a greaad deal going at our place
Sam_Moore: great
pafuneralguy: perhaps a co-op with a local tailor might work.....you get them cheaper but give promotion]
Mr._Rock_Hard: we get nothing
Mr._Rock_Hard: so don't feel bad
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undrtkr1: were still trying to train prep room/crematory monkeys...work for bananas
Sam_Moore: i took my first 2 apprentices to the good will store..we found Delta airline uniforms for 5$. they wore them for 2 years and looked great
cnmmnc: livery drivers end up flipping coins to find the unlucky person to come down here
POG70: Delta always had great-looking ladies
pafuneralguy: John.....how about talking about past lawsuits.....what funeral homes have been taken to court for and lost
POG70: no names
Sam_Moore: How about horrow stories and $ paid out
pafuneralguy: we have had several slip and falls but nothing funeral related
pafuneralguy: thank God
cnmmnc: over here, a family sued the funeral home after falling in a diocean owned cemetery and won, that was a shocker to Moi...
POG70: depends upon the jury
Sam_Moore: wrong clothes on wrong man in wrong casket 4hr visitation open casket..burial!!!
POG70: wow!
Sam_Moore: not at my present job
cnmmnc: well Nj is a board certified facist state
pafuneralguy: change the heads......lol
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Sam_Moore: had to dig him up first
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POG70: I'd have fired you for that, too
undrtkr1: thought we had cremated the wrong guy a week or so back...didnt know for sure until family came into Fh for first view...
Sam_Moore: we fired the whole crew
POG70: good\
Sam_Moore: both men named smith
pafuneralguy: burial of ( wrongly ) jewelry is a big issue I know of
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POG70: Had an owner shipped out the wrong body...got in a hurry and didn't check the tag
undrtkr1: we have a the family sign jewelry and personal effects form
pafuneralguy: we do also
pafuneralguy: and the employee who talked to them
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undrtkr1: had the girlfriend steal the glasses off the deceased as a momento...wife was unaware of the girlfriend...family pursued charges against the lady...glasses never recovered...
POG70: I know a couple who refuse to bury jewelry. One was sued for burying a ring by oversight
POG70: Wonder they didn't sue the fh
pafuneralguy: should we have video cams on casket
POG70: over the glasses
pafuneralguy: security
Host_John: a good ideas on how to avoide trouble
POG70: ssomeone has to monitor
Host_John: we can get sued for anything
pafuneralguy: record it
Host_John: limo arrived late
pafuneralguy: look if you have to later
cnmmnc: there was an umm, african american funeral firm that picked up the wrong remains, embalmed them and discovered it was the wrong person, they got fined $500 by the state board, so go figure...
Host_John: limo was dirty
Host_John: body looked bad
POG70: Ac didn't work\
POG70: toilet overflowed
POG70: register pen ran out of ink
Host_John: yes when you rent a car and the AC is not working.
undrtkr1: embalming reports are a must...
Host_John: do you send the car back? or hope for the best
pafuneralguy: I must go for now....be well all and take care John........
Host_John: when do you test the AC?
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Host_John: Night PA
cnmmnc: au revoir
pafuneralguy: refund the limo
Host_John: time for me to go as well
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Host_John: yes and send limo back
Host_John: you all have a great week
POG70: embalming reports are seldom used but when you need one, it is priceless!
Host_John: until next time
Host_John: have a great week
Sam_Moore: nite John
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cnmmnc: yeah I have one at 8 o'clock

AT THAT TIME I LEFT THE CHAT SEE YOU NEXT TIME (EVERY SUNDAY 8 PM EASTERN)