In a message dated 10/9/01 4:22:44 PM, Joe.Weigel@batesville.com writes: John - Early last week, we asked Dr. Wolfelt to compose an article on the value of ceremony when the body can not be present. We broadcast-faxed it to all of our customers in the Metro NY/NJ area with a cover note from Paul Theesfeld. I believe your subscribers might find the text of this article beneficial, so I have enclosed it below.
THANKS JOE AND BATESVILLE, and DR. WOLFELT, THE ARTICLE WILL HELP MANY!
In the wake of the World Trade Center, Pentagon and Pennsylvania tragedies, thousands of families have been forced to accept the reality of the death of
someone loved despite the lack of a body. As you know, this is a critical
distinction. Accepting death is always difficult. Accepting death when there
is no recoverable body is excruciatingly paradoxical because the body is the
ultimate death symbol. It is, if you will, the only visceral proof of death.
Without the body, families struggle with natural but obsessive thoughts
that the missing person may turn up alive. After all, the last time they saw
the person, he or she breathed, laughed, touched.
Yet death certificates are now being issued for families who seek them.
This step is not only a legal requirement for families seeking benefits and
compensation, it is symbolic. Asking for and receiving a death certificate
means acknowledging, on some level, the reality of the death. While it cannot
replace the body, the death certificate itself becomes proof of death.
The role of funeral ceremony
The funeral ritual is the next-and more profound-step in acknowledging the
reality of the death for these families. As gatekeepers of this time-honored
and critical ritual, it is your responsibility and privilege to create
meaningful and personalized ceremonies despite the lack of a body.
Can there be a ceremony with no body present? Sure. Memorial services are
held all the time. The difference is, of course, that with most memorial
services, the family chooses not to have the body present. Often, the family
has seen and spent time with the body when the death occurred.
Like other victims of mass casualty before them, the World Trade Center,
Pentagon and Pennsylvania families were not given the choice to view and spend
time with the body. Yet it is still possible-indeed imperative-that you assist
these families in creating memorial services that honor the life of the person
who died and help survivors begin to reconcile their loss.
You know that funerals are important, otherwise you wouldn
't be doing the work
you do. I understand that for the most part, I'm preaching to the choir here.
Yet I'm hearing stories out of New York City that some funeral homes and some
clergy are encouraging these families NOT to have services. It seems that
without a body, some funeral directors and clergy are unprepared to help
families deal with this type of loss.
I hope you'll join me in rallying around these funeral directors and
clergy. Theirs is a horrific lot today. I acknowledge the extraordinarily
difficult situation into which they've been cast. Yet I know like I know my
own heartbeat that these profoundly bereaved families need ceremony to help
them begin to heal.
The funeral ritual is a public, traditional and symbolic means of
expressing our beliefs, thoughts and feelings about the death of someone
loved. Rich in history and rife with symbolism, the funeral ceremony helps us
acknowledge the reality of the death, gives testimony to the life that was
lived, encourages the expression of grief in a way consistent with the
culture's values, provides support to mourn, allows for the embracing of faith
and beliefs about life and death, and offers continuity and hope for the
living. And ceremony says for us what words simply cannot at this time.
Without ceremony, acknowledgment of the death is more difficult. The unique
life of the person who died is not honored. The family has no forum in which
to express their grief and receive support from others. And in this case,
there is no clear demarcation between 'before' the death and "after" the
death, there is only the bleak morass of weeks and months mired in limbo.
Grief is given no time, no place, no voice.
I also feel the need to point out that at some point, mass memorial
services may be held for those killed at the World Trade Center, the Pentagon
and the Pennsylvania crash sites. I wholly support this type of ritual that
brings together families who can support one another in their common grief.
But as you know, mass ceremonies are not replacements for an individual,
personalized ceremony that honors a single, unique life for a single, unique
family. They are merely supplements to it.
Ideas for the funeral ceremony
You know how to create ceremonies with no body present. I'm sure you've
helped plan and facilitate many, many memorial services. But how can
ceremonies for these particular families be made most meaningful?
First, because there is no body and because the circumstances are so
disorienting, you must be diligent and creative in encouraging these families
to personalize the ceremony. A memorabilia table filled with objects that were
precious to or associated with the person who died provides mourners with
tangible items to hold, to smell, to caress. Of course, photos of the person
who died are paramount. In my opinion, you cannot display too many photos in
cases such as this.
Videotape is also exceptionally useful because it allows mourners to hear
the voice of the person who died and to see mannerisms and movement. Asking
many people to speak or share memories, whether formally through a eulogy or
informally by providing a time for those in attendance to stand up and tell a
story, is another key way to bring the memory of this unique individual alive
and help compensate for the lack of a body. Play music that was meaningful to
the person who died, bring in his favorite car, fill the room with her
favorite flowers. Remember, when it comes to personalizing the ceremony for
these families, no request should be denied and no effort should be spared.
Second, you must create a "locus of mourning." When the body is present,
whether in an urn or an open or unopened casket, the body itself is the locus
- the visual center, the emotional focus - of the ceremony. When no body is
present, you can still create a locus of mourning by creating a display at the
front of the room in which the service will be held. A large, poster-sized or
life-sized photo of the person who died is a good start. Artfully surrounding
the photos with belongings and memorabilia also adds to the feeling of
"presence" of the person who died.
And third, you must help the family create a place to mourn. When a body or
cremated remains are buried or scattered, there is a "place" for the families
to go when they want to feel close to the person who died. As you know,
visiting the ceremony is a healing, ongoing ritual for many families. In this
case, perhaps you can help families plant a tree with a marker at its base,
donate a bench with a plaque to a local park, or release balloons or doves at
a place that was special to the family and the person who died. One day, a
national memorial honoring those who were killed in these tragedies may be
erected. As with the mass ceremonies, a national memorial will indeed be a
healing place for families, as well as a nation. Yet it will not replace the
need for the family to have a special, established place to mourn and remember
the one person they loved and lost.
In closing, I cannot emphasize enough the importance of ceremony for
families personally affected by the World Trade Center, Pentagon and
Pennsylvania crash site tragedies. I know many funeral directors and clergy
across North America are being called on to offer their support and their
services. I hope this article helps you help families in your care. If you
have any questions or comments about creating personalized ceremonies for
these families, I would love to hear from you. Please e-mail me at
wolfelt@centerforloss.com or call me at (970) 226-6050.
Dr. Alan Wolfelt is a noted speaker, author and grief counselor. He serves as
Director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition in Fort Collins, Colorado.
In addition, he serves as a consultant for Batesville Management Services for
whom he wrote this article
In a message dated 10/1/01 2:26:26 PM, TJ in Massachusetts writes:
Hi John,
I was clicking through the channels this morning and came across this trial on Court TV. A Florida funeral director admitted to stabbing his wife to death then burying her in the casket of another women. His defense is calling it "a crime of passion." Interesting case!
Its still showing now so not sure what the verdict will be.
Click here: COURT TV ONLINE - TRIALS
http://www.courttv.com/trials/taped/villella/background.html
Take Care,
TJ - Medford, Massachusetts
Monday, October 1, 2001
Updated September 30, 2001, 10:00 a.m. ET Fla. v. Villella: Undertaker's wife found dead in another woman's coffin Undertaker Mark Villella admitted to killing his wife and secretly burying her with another corpse, but was it a crime of passion? (Court TV) &emdash; Undertaker Mark Villella told police he woke up one night and found his bed empty &emdash; his wife gone without a trace.
Almost a month later she turned up &emdash; in the exhumed casket of a woman Villella had buried at the funeral home where he worked.
Villella confessed to killing his 28-year-old wife Exelee, but his lawyer says he was so distraught over his wife's affair and plans to leave him that it was a crime of passion.
In Florida, if Villella stabbed his wife in a moment of passion, he would be guilty of manslaughter instead of first-degree murder.
For Villella, a 41-year-old father of three, the stakes are high &emdash; he could either be out of prison in time to drive his youngest child to kindergarten, or, he could spend the rest of his natural life behind bars.
THE RELATIONSHIP:
Mark and Exelee Villella met in Maryland in the early 1990's while Mark was married to another woman. It wasn't long before the two ran off together. Mark left his wife and two children and started a life with Exelee. The two &emdash; both licensed funeral directors &emdash; ran a funeral home together in the Washington D.C. area, reportedly doing work for Arlington National Cemetery, before moving to Florida.
Portrait of the couple in happier timesAccording to new reports, there were prior incidents of physical violence against Exelee by Mark, but neither prosecutors, investigators nor Exelee's family would confirm those allegations. In 1996, Exelee reportedly left Villella because of their relationship troubles and went to live with her parents in West Virginia.
The following year, however, the couple reconciled and married. Their son, Anthony, was born within a year of their 1997 summer wedding.
But the marriage was far from trouble-free. Exelee Villella thought her husband was a jealous and controlling man. For example, he kept tabs on where she went and insisted that she call him immediately as she arrived at work each day.
"People punish me because I care about her," Villella said in statement to police. She says nobody else calls their husband the minute they get to work. I said it's common courtesy."
Exelee was in fact carrying on an affair with a married co-worker in the months leading up her death.
THE AFFAIR:
When Investigator Steve Willis spoke with Mark Villella at his kitchen table two days after his wife's disappearance, Villella told him about a troubled couple of months in his marriage.
Villella said his wife had "changed," and that he'd suspected she was having an affair. Exelee had begun to spend more time doing her hair and nails, and shaved her legs every day.
She would leave at 6:30 a.m. for the 30 minute trip to work in Orlando, leaving herself an hour and a half to get to work without being able to account for the extra time.
She would have lengthy, private telephone conversations with someone she described as a co-worker, and she would stay out late at night, sometimes returning home drunk.
Villella had also recently found a card in his wife's purse that referred to being "embarrassed about getting so drunk at the party," and "fantasizing about that night."
One of Exelee's co-workers, Marc Camp, admitted to Willis that he gave a very drunk Exelee Villella a ride home from a party, and had sex with her in his truck prior to dropping her off at home.
Villella confronted Exelee about the card, and she admitted to having a sexual relationship with the co-worker. He told Willis that, while he was hurt by the affair, he had told his wife he forgave her and just wanted "another chance."
Mark Villella told Steve Willis that on the evening of August 5, 1999, his wife was making a meatloaf, and asked him to go to the grocery store to buy her a green pepper. He returned not only with the pepper but also a bouquet of roses.
When Exelee saw the roses, she burst into tears and sat crying on the floor for over an hour, telling her husband to leave her alone. At about 10:00 p.m., Mark, who hadn't been able to sleep well for weeks because of his marriage woes, claims he took NyQuil as a sleep aid and went to bed. He says that when he woke up shortly after midnight, Exelee was gone.
THE DISAPPEARANCE:
Exelee's family and coworkers last heard from her on Thursday, August 5, 1999, when she had an evening telephone conversation with her mother and promised to call again from work the next morning. By the following day, her family was quite worried &emdash; it was uncharacteristic of Exelee to vanish without word to anyone. They put in a call to the local Sheriff's department.
When deputies knocked on Mark Villella's door on August 6, they found a man seemingly unconcerned about his wife's whereabouts. Villella told them he'd had an argument with his wife on the evening of August 5, and later woke up to find her gone. He told the deputies that Exelee had left because she needed some time to think about things, and would be back in a day or two.
The deputies noted, however, that Exelee Villella had left behind her car, house keys, and even her toddler son.
Also arousing suspicions was the fact that Exelee's mother described her as having been very upset and arguing with her husband the last time they spoke. The sheriff's office assigned an investigator to the case, which is not customary in regular missing person's cases.
Villella also told Willis that on August 3, two nights before Exelee disappeared, he and his wife were getting along and even holding hands as they went to pick up a casket at the airport.
Unbeknownst her Exelee at the time, the casket they picked up was the one she would also occupy a few days later.
THE INVESTIGATION:
Interviews with Exelee Villella's family and friends took investigators to a dead end.
A search of the Villella residence turned up nothing, and when he spoke to Villella again on August 11, Villella maintained that he knew nothing of his wife's whereabouts.
Still, Villella was clearly the most likely suspect considering the circumstances of his wife's disappearance, as well as his apparent lack of concern. Willis had even arranged for a deputy to come by the Villella home to take a missing person's report, but Mark Villella never completed it.
Willis then began to look into Villella's employment at the Deltona Memorial funeral home. The home's records showed that there had been two closed casket burials since Exelee vanished, and on August 26, Steve Willis drove to the home to speak to Funeral Director Robert McFall about possibly exhuming those caskets.
Instead of McFall, Willis ran into Mark Villella, and mentioned his suspicions to him. Willis suggested that Villella come by the Sheriff's Operations Center after work and talk.
THE CONFESSION:
And talk is exactly what Villella did &emdash; so much so that he confessed to his wife's murder.
"I loved her to death," repeated as he admitted to killing his wife. In the presence of his brother, Jeff, but no attorney, Villella told Willis about the last evening he spent with his wife. After that statement, he was arrested.
Mark Villella said, once again, that when he returned home with the green pepper and the bouquet of roses, Exelee sank to the floor and cried for 45 minutes.
The Villella homeVillella quotes her as saying, "I can't take it anymore. I don't want to be with you anymore. I want to leave you. Take your son away from you. I want a divorce."
Villella claims he tried to talk to his wife and begged her to give him another chance, but had no luck.
He went to bed before Exelee that night, after taking a large dose of NyQuil. He says he hadn't slept well in three weeks-ever since he suspected, then confirmed, her affair.
At about 12:30 a.m. Mark Villella woke up and went to watch TV while his wife slept. He returned to the bedroom at some point because "I just wanted to talk, wanted a hug, wanted somethin'."
Once again he was rebuffed, and went back to lay on the couch and contemplate the situation.
Between 4 and 4:30 a.m., Villella says he took a knife from the butcher block in the kitchen and went into the bedroom, where his wife was asleep on her back. He stabbed her four times in the chest.
While Exelee Villella was being stabbed, her husband says she sat up and said "I didn't do anything," before laying back again, dying.
"I didn't know what I was doing," Villella told investigators. "I loved that woman to death. I couldn't take leaving. Because of her, we had a nice child. I just cracked. I couldn't take it anymore. No sleep. Losing her. Losing my son. I didn't know what to do."
After stabbing his wife, Villella said he "laid back on the couch to figure out what to do next."
The next day, Villella left his dead wife in bed and drove his son to the babysitter. He went to work for a while and then returned home with a white van from the funeral home &emdash; and began to cover up his crime.
He wrapped his wife's body in a plastic body bag and brought it to the funeral parlor. He was able to unload the bag into a refrigerator with nobody observing because the entrance to the cooler was inside the garage.
The only people with access to the refrigerator that Friday were Villella and his boss, and Villella took his chances that his boss. who was off the rest of the weekend, would not enter the cooler that day. He later threw the knife in the St. John's River in Sanford, Fla.
The grave of Marjorie HutchinsonOn Monday, August 9, 1999, Villella placed the un-embalmed body of his wife under that of Marjorie Hutchison, along with the bloody mattress-cover of their bed. He then sealed the casket, and presided over brief burial service of Hutchison.
"I'm just scared. I don't know what's gonna happen. I didn't plan this," sobs Villella on the tape. "I didn't mean to make all this mess. I really didn't."
THE EXHUMATION:
The day following Villella's incriminating statement, the sheriff's office secured an order to exhume the body of Marjorie Hutchison. In the casket, investigators found the body bag containing Exelee Villella's body.
The coffin where Exelee Villella's body was secretly buried is exhumedThe medical examiner claims the body was so well hidden under Hutchison's propped up legs that one would not have noticed it at first glance &emdash; were it not for a strong odor of decomposition.
The remains of Marjorie Hutchison, an 89-year-old widow and homemaker, were later reinterred in the same spot, next to those of her husband who passed away in 1976.
The remains of Exelee Villella were flown to West Virginia, where her family arranged a small, private service.
THE PROSECUTION'S CASE
Prosecutor Raul Zambrano says one only has to watch the defendant's videotaped statement to know he's guilty of premeditated murder. Mark Villella said he was laying on the couch for hours because he couldn't sleep, contemplating his relationship.
After deciding to kill Exelee, Villella had to walk at least 25 feet into the kitchen, select a knife from the butcher block, and then walk to the bedroom. This surely would have provided ample time for Villella to reconsider his actions, Zambrano says.
In addition, the fact that there were multiple wounds and that Villella says his wife sat up and spoke during the stabbing suggests enough time passed in between the stabs to allow him to come to his senses. Instead, Villella continued to stab his wife four times, so hard that the knife hit her spine.
Zambrano agrees with the defense about the fact that the emotion Mark Villella displayed while giving the statement is telling. This is, after all, the man who sat down with an investigator at his kitchen table the very day he buried his wife, and matter-of-factly stated he knew nothing about her whereabouts.
The contrast between Villella's demeanor during the two statements points to cool-headed calculation rather than emotional turmoil, says Zambrano.
Although the defendant's actions after the killing obviously can't be used to show premeditation, they do give a clue as to the sort of mind is at work in Mark Villella, says Zambrano.
The burial of his wife with another woman, the failure to at least embalm her body first, and the cool demeanor Villella displayed in the three weeks after his wife's murder are not consistent with a man who loved his wife and &emdash; in Villella's words &emdash; "just cracked."
THE DEFENSE'S CASE
Defense attorney Mitch Novas says Mark Villella was a man pushed to his limit. He had lost two children in a previous marriage, was paying $900 a month in child support and could barely afford to see his out-of-state kids.
He'd suspected, then confirmed, that his new wife was having an affair. He had even told her he forgave her, and would do anything to make things right &emdash; but she insisted on leaving him. The night of the killing he brought her flowers, tried to talk, and even requested a hug, but was rebuffed each time. As he sat there alone on the couch, his mind foggy after weeks of sleepless nights, thinking about the possibility of losing yet another family, Mark Villella simply snapped, says Novas.
That the crime was an act of passion is evident from Mark Villella's actions after the murder, Novas says. He clearly didn't plan the crime, because if he had, he would have thought about such details as removing his wife's wallet and car from the home. He would have also arranged to cremate her remains rather than sticking them in a grave where forensic evidence would be preserved.
Finally, the emotional confession is clear evidence of Villella's tortured mindset, says the defense.
Defense attorneys unsuccessfully moved to suppress the August 26, 1999 statement, claiming the state's key evidence was obtained in violation of Villella's constitutional rights.
MUSIC LICENSE COALITION
1895 Preston White Drive, Suite 220 ¥ Reston, VA 20191 ¥ 800.645.7700 ¥
703.391.8400 ¥ fax: 703.391.8416 ¥ www.icfa.org/music/
e-mail: music@icfa.org
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Contact: Joseph W. Budzinski 1-800-645-7700
Coalition Forming for "No Membership" $185 Music License
OCTOBER 3, 2001 &endash; Reston, VA &endash; A new Coalition, open to all companies in the
funeral service industry, is forming to obtain a discounted group music license
for only $185 annually per location. The International Cemetery and Funeral
Association (ICFA) has reached an agreement with all three music licensing
organizations, ASCAP, BMI and SESAC, to provide this discount to funeral homes
and other industry members once the Music License Coalition has a total of
5,000 participating locations. No trade association membership is required to
join the Coalition and obtain the discount.
"Paying the annual music licensing fee is an unavoidable cost of doing business
for funeral homes, so obtaining a group discount should not be made contingent
upon membership in an industry trade association," states ICFA President
Gregory Easley, CCE. "If enough properties can commit by November 15, 2001, the
Coalition will be able to offer the discount for the year beginning January 1,
2002. If we cannot offer the discount for 2002, then we will work through next
year to get enough participants for 2003."
Business owners and managers who are interested in participating in the
discount license can call the Music License Coalition at 1-800-645-7700 to
"sign on" as a Coalition member, or send a note with company name, address and
phone number by e-mail to music@icfa.org or by fax to 703-391-8416. No payment
is necessary until after November 15, when it will be determined whether the
group discount can be offered for the coming year. In addition, all state,
regional and national trade associations interested in publicizing this program
to their members can contact the Music License Coalition, or visit the
Coalition web site at www.icfa.org/music/ for information and promotional
materials.
"This is by definition a non-partisan project, and it will be neither a
members-only benefit nor a profit center for any association," states Easley.
"The $185 fee is basically our cost if we have 5,000 participants, and the
Coalition is committed to making the music license available at or near cost
each year. Given the rising costs of doing business, there is no reason why we
and our colleagues should be forced to choose between either paying a large fee
for the music license or join any particular trade association to obtain a
discount. Now, we need to hear from owners and managers who want to get their
music license for a reasonable rate and not have to pay extra dues or fees just
to be in compliance."
The long-term goal of the Coalition will be to bring the entire industry under
a single group license, and thereby procure the lowest possible annual rate for
everyone, Easley notes: "By pooling the entire industry's 'strength in numbers'
we very likely could get an annual rate under $150 per year."
- 30 -
Joseph W. Budzinski
ICFA
1895 Preston White Drive, Suite 220
Reston, VA 20191
703-391-8400
800-645-7700
fax 703-391-8416
In a message dated 10/2/01 5:54:36 PM, ICFA@xmr3.com writes:
********************************************************************
ICFA WIRELESS - October 2, 2001 Edition Vol. 2 No. 23
********************************************************************
INDUSTRY NEWS
FTC Funeral Rule Review: No Timetable
ICFA Receives FTC FOIA Complaints on Cemeteries
Daily News Updates Now Available from ICFA
ICFA Adds Discussion Page to Web Site
ICFA Web Site Offers Information on Charitable Giving
ICFA NEWS
October Product of the Month: Gary O'Sullivan Tapes
Fall Conference Registration Deadline Extended
NFL Tickets Available Following Fall Conference
SPECIAL NOTICE: Is Your Access to ICFA Web Site Being Blocked?
------------------------
INDUSTRY NEWS
------------------------
FTC FUNERAL RULE REVIEW: NO TIMETABLE
The ICFA has learned that staff at the Federal Trade Commission (FTC)
have no timetable for proceeding with its review of the Funeral Rule.
The trade rule underwent its second periodic review beginning in May
1999. Under FTC practices, its regulations are reviewed approximately
once every 10 years for potential modification or repeal. The Funeral
Rule was enacted in 1984 and had its first review in 1988. That review
was not formally concluded until 1994.
The second Funeral Rule review began in 1999 and was initially projected
to conclude in 18 months. However, no formal action has occurred since
the FTC held a public conference workshop in November 1999. Since that
time, interested parties have been waiting for FTC staff to issue a
report making certain recommendations, including the possible expansion
of the Funeral Rule to all sellers including cemeteries and casket
retailers. Apparently, a staff report was written but withheld from
publication pending a review by the new Bush Administration appointee,
FTC Chairman Timothy Muris and his staff. Though the report eventually
will be issued in some form, there is no longer a presumed timetable for
such action.
---------------------------------------------------
ICFA RECEIVES FTC FOIA COMPLAINTS ON CEMETERIES
In response to its Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request to the FTC
during the summer, the ICFA has received approximately 70 consumer
complaint summaries from commission staff. The responses cover the time
frame from October 1999 through August 2001, averaging about three
complaints per month. However, a review of the complaint summaries by
the ICFA staff concludes that none of the complaints filed would have
been prevented, remedied or addressed by the Funeral Rule had cemeteries
been included under its coverage.
A previous FOIA request by the ICFA in 1999 turned up about one complaint
per month, although none of those complaints seemed related to the
provisions of the Funeral Rule. As noted in the previous story, the FTC
is currently reviewing the Rule to determine whether, among other issues,
it should be amended to include sellers other than funeral homes. The
ICFA is the only industry trade association opposed to the expansion of
the Funeral Rule due to a lack of evidence justifying such action.
Earlier this year, the National Catholic Cemetery Conference filed a
position paper with the FTC opposing Rule expansion to religious
cemeteries. Details of the ICFA second FOIA request will be published in
the "Washington Report" column in the upcoming October issue of the ICFA
magazine, International Cemetery and Funeral Management.
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DAILY NEWS UPDATES NOW AVAILABLE FROM ICFA
For a timely collection of interesting and useful news items related to
the cemetery and funeral industry, visit the newly created ICFA News
Page at http://www.icfa.org/newspage.htm. The News Page compiles articles
from around the world, not merely reporting the "obvious," but providing
business information and news reflecting a broad perspective on the
industry as a whole. Its simple, easy-to-navigate format ensures that
you do not have to wade through countless screens to find relevant
information. The page is updated regularly, so be sure to bookmark it
and visit it every day.
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ICFA ADDS DISCUSSION PAGE TO WEB SITE
The ICFA has added a section called the ICFA Idea Network to its Web
site. The page provides a forum for cemeterians, funeral directors,
suppliers and others to share ideas and discussion on all areas of
operations. Currently, the page features numerous messages regarding
the industry's response to the September 11 attack on America. To
access the page, visit http://www.icfa.org/ideanetwork.htm.
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ICFA WEB SITE OFFERS INFORMATION ON CHARITABLE GIVING
In the wake of the September 11 attack on America, organizations
accepting charitable donations are being overwhelmed with gifts from
concerned citizens and organizations. The newly developed ICFA News
Page carries several items on the topic.
In general, the items recommend no longer sending goods, though monetary
donations are still welcomed. Also, because the number of organizations
collecting money for the victims and their families has led to some
organizational problems, it may be best to contribute to long-standing
charities such as the American Red Cross and The Salvation Army. Finally,
some articles point out that certain year-round charitable causes are
suffering due to the diversion of many regular donations; again,
contributing to the American Red Cross and The Salvation Army can help
ensure that those causes continue to receive funding.
Articles on this topic and others related to the attack can be accessed
at http://www.icfa.org/newspage.htm.
----------------------------------------------------
ICFA NEWS
----------------
OCTOBER PRODUCT OF THE MONTH: GARY O'SULLIVAN TAPES
During the month of October, the ICFA is offering discounts on audio and
video tapes from preneed sales training expert Gary O'Sullivan, CCE.
Items on sale include: "Service$elling," a six-audiotape set. Regular
price: $75 per set; October price: $60 per set! "A Basic Approach to
Selling Preneed," a six-audiotape set. Regular price: $75 per set;
October price: $60 per set! "Secrets to Success in the Prearrangement
Industry," a one-hour training cassette. Regular price: $10.95 per tape;
October price: $5 per tape! "Holding a Successful Sales Meeting"
videotape. Regular price: $35 per tape; October price: $12.50 per tape!
And "Getting Counselors to Get Results" videotape. Regular price: $35 per
tape; October price: $12.50 per tape!
For more information, visit http://www.icfa.org/oct.htm. To order, call
1-800-645-7700, ext. 216.
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FALL CONFERENCE REGISTRATION DEADLINE EXTENDED
The Hilton La Jolla Torrey Pines has graciously extended its hotel
reservation deadline to October 11 for those who have not already secured
a room for the ICFA Fall Management Conference. Likewise, the ICFA will
extend the deadline for the early registration discount to October 11.
Members who register on or before that date will save $86 off the regular
conference registration fee. Hotel reservations made after that date will
be accepted on a space-available basis.
The ICFA Fall Management Conference, October 24-27 at the Hilton La Jolla
Torrey Pines in San Diego, California, will challenge attendees with the
theme, "Has Anyone Moved Your Cheese Yet?" In addition to educational
programming, attendees will have opportunities to participate in golf and
tennis tournaments, networking receptions and a closing dinner.
For information and registration materials, contact the ICFA at
1-800-645-7700 or visit http://www.icfa.org/educ2.html.
---------------------------------------------------
NFL TICKETS AVAILABLE FOLLOWING FALL CONFERENCE
ICFA member Dan Amigone has a limited number of tickets available to the
San Diego Chargers/Buffalo Bills football game, to be held at 1 p.m.
Pacific time on October 28, following the ICFA Fall Management
Conference in San Diego. Cost is $59 for the game or $75 for the tailgate
party and game.
Members interested in purchasing tickets should call the ICFA Meetings
Department at 1-800-645-7700.
---------------------------------------------------
SPECIAL NOTICE: IS YOUR ACCESS TO ICFA WEB SITE BEING BLOCKED?
Due to problems with the NIMDA Internet virus, the ICFA has had to block
certain servers from accessing its Web site. If you are experiencing
problems accessing the site, please contact your Internet Service
Provider to ensure they are virus-free and then call the ICFA to have
your server unblocked.
---------------------------------------------------
AND MORE ...
The ICFA is partnering with preneed sales expert Gary O'Sullivan, CCE,
to present one-day seminars designed for cemetery and funeral preneed
sellers and family service staff. Seminars currently are scheduled for
October 4 in Columbus, Ohio, and October 16 in Atlanta, Georgia.
Additional dates and locations may be announced at a later date.
Complete program and registration information are available at
http://www.icfa.org/osullivan01.htm or by calling the ICFA Meetings
Department at 1-800-645-7700.
The ICFA KIP (Keeping It Personal) Awards recognize the best in
personalization in the cemetery and funeral services industry. All ICFA
members are eligible to attend, including cemeteries, funeral homes,
monument retailers, suppliers and related businesses. The deadline for
entry is January 15, 2002. For additional information and an entry form,
visit http://www.icfa.org/kip.htm.
The ICFA offers videotapes of presentations from Naked Sales I, the
highly successful 1999 Sales Management and Marketing Conference. Videos
of Naked Sales II and III will be available this fall. Prices vary; to
receive a complete listing of tapes and an order form, call ICFA Member
Services Administrator Alex Toth at 1-800-645-7700, ext. 216.
Since April 2000, the ICFA has waged an ongoing media campaign to educate
consumers about the value of remembrance, memorialization and preplanning
for cemetery and funeral expenses. For more information and to view
copies of the news releases, visit http://www.icfa.org/media.htm.
The ICFA's 2000-2001 Buyer's Guide and Membership Directory is available
for purchase at a member price of just $5 plus shipping, while supplies
last. To order copies, print out a form at http://www.icfa.org/membershipdirectory.htm
or call 1-800-645-7700, ext. 216.
Need a labor relations and employment law attorney? Check out ICFA's
benefit program offering free telephone legal consultations at
http://www.icfa.org/pepperman.htm.
ICFA members can establish their own Web sites for just $14.95 per month,
with no up-front fees. FuneralAssistant.com provides complete Web site
design, up to six pages; monthly site hosting; assignment of a Keyword
that directs Internet customers to the site; and Web site updates. For
more information, visit http://www.icfa.org/WebBenefit.htm.
---------------------------------------------------
International Cemetery and Funeral Association
1895 Preston White Drive, Suite 220
Reston, VA 20191
1-800-645-7700
(703) 391-8400
fax (703) 391-8416
http://www.icfa.org
In a message dated 10/19/01 1:58:45 PM, lacorn@icfa.org writes:
<< Below is the most recent edition of ICFA WIRELESS. If you no longer wish
to receive this biweekly copy of the newsletter, please let me know.
Linda Budzinski
Communications Director
International Cemetery and Funeral Association
Reston, Virginia
1-800-645-7700, ext. 220
*************************************************************************
ICFA WIRELESS &endash; October 16, 2001 Edition Vol. 2 No. 24
*************************************************************************
ICFA WIRELESS is a biweekly electronic newsletter bringing members of
the International Cemetery and Funeral Association the latest government
and legal, industry and association news. It is available to all ICFA
members current on their dues. Comments, questions and "hot news tips"
are welcome. Write to: mailto:wireless@icfa.org.
IN THIS EDITION:
INDUSTRY NEWS
Rumors Surface of Industry 'Profiteering' from 9/11 Aftermath
TX Attorney General Holds That Archdiocese Must Obtain Preneed Permit
ICFA Initiates Music License Coalition
ICFA NEWS
Naked Sales IV: New Topics, New Speakers, Same Great Format!
ICFA Publishes Membership Directory & Buyer's Guide
October Product of the Month: Gary O'Sullivan Tapes
SPECIAL NOTICE: Is Your Access to ICFA Web Site Being Blocked?
--------------------------
INDUSTRY NEWS
--------------------------
RUMORS SURFACE OF INDUSTRY 'PROFITEERING' FROM 9/11 AFTERMATH
Since the September 11 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and
the Pentagon, the ICFA has been identifying and responding to various
media reports alleging that funeral service members may be attempting to
profit from the carnage. Initially, the ICFA received reports from
members that New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani had cautioned funeral
homes against "price gouging." However, the ICFA subsequently determined
that the mayor never made such remarks. In another instance, a caller
into a New York talk show claimed that funeral directors were paid a
"bounty" for reporting decedents' Social Security numbers to the Social
Security Administration. ICFA contacted the show to point out that
funeral homes routinely notify the government and credit card companies
with such information but do not receive compensation.
The Association has also received several calls from media sources
inquiring how funeral homes and cemeteries are gearing their sales
efforts in the aftermath of September 11. The media is obviously
searching for instances of exploitation by the industry. ICFA members
should contact the Association at mailto:wireless@icfa.org or
1-800-645-7700 with any reports they encounter alleging exploitation by
funeral service personnel.
---------------------------------------------------
TX ATTORNEY GENERAL HOLDS THAT ARCHDIOCESE MUST OBTAIN PRENEED PERMIT
An increasing number of religious organizations throughout the United
States are engaging in the preneed sales of funeral and burial services
and merchandise, raising the issue of whether such entities should
comply with legal requirements imposed on non-religious sellers of
similar services and merchandise.
A case in point: A September 26 letter to the Texas Banking Commission
from Texas Attorney General John Cornyn reviewed the issue of whether a
religious entity must comply with state preneed regulations, including
obtaining a permit, in order to sell funeral and burial
services/merchandise. Specifically, the Archdiocese of San Antonio sells
"certain prepaid funeral benefits" but argued it was not required to
comply with statutory requirements for preneed sellers because: 1) it
was not a "person" under the statute's definition; 2) it does not sell
to the "public" as referenced by the law; and 3) requiring compliance
would violate both the Free Exercise Clause and the Establishment Clause
of the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.
The Attorney General (AG) reasoned that an exemption for "religious
organizations" enacted in 1955 was subsequently repealed by the
legislature in 1963. With regard to selling to "the public," the AG
cited a federal district court decision stating that a musical
performance was considered "public" even though it was provided to an
audience of 21 golf club members and guests. Using this reasoning, the
AG held that members of the Roman Catholic Church were sufficiently
numerous to constitute "the public" within the definition of the preneed
statute. With respect to the First Amendment Constitutional freedom of
religion argument, the AG reasoned, based on case law, that the preneed
law did not impose regulations upon the Catholic faith nor were its
requirements burdensome.
The AG concluded that the preneed statute was religiously neutral and
affected all sellers regardless of whether they were secular or
religious. At this point, it is unclear whether the Archdiocese will
contest the AG's opinion letter.
---------------------------------------------------
ICFA INITIATES MUSIC LICENSE COALITION
The ICFA has announced the formation of a Music License Coalition to
provide music licenses for $185 annually per location. Open to all
companies in the cemetery and funeral service industry, the Coalition
has an agreement with all three music licensing organizations&emdash;ASCAP, BMI
and SESAC&emdash;to provide this discount once it has a total of 5,000
participating locations. No trade association membership is required to
join the Coalition and obtain the discount.
If enough properties join the Coalition by November 15, 2001, the
discount will be available for the year beginning January 1, 2002. If
the Coalition cannot offer the discount for 2002, the ICFA will work
through next year to get enough participants for 2003.
Funeral homes and cemeteries of any size that host public services where
copyrighted music is performed or played from recordings are legally
required to pay an annual licensing fee to ASCAP, BMI and SESAC. Small
businesses that have been found to be unlicensed have been fined $20,000
for a single infraction.
Industry members interested in signing on as a Coalition member can call
the Music License Coalition at 1-800-645-7700 or send a note with
company name, address and phone number by e-mail to
mailto:music@icfa.org or by fax to (703) 391-8416. No payment is
necessary until after November 15, when it will be determined whether
the group discount can be offered for the coming year. For additional
information, visit http://www.icfa.org/music/.
---------------------------------------------------
------------------
ICFA NEWS
------------------
NAKED SALES IV: NEW TOPICS, NEW SPEAKERS, SAME GREAT FORMAT!
Want to learn the latest preneed sales and marketing techniques? Looking
for a way to reward your top counselors? Naked Sales IV: International
Cemetery and Funeral Sales Management and Marketing Conference requires
just two days away from the office and offers two dozen sessions filled
with practical, "how-to" instruction.
To be held January 17-18, 2002, at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas, Nevada,
the Conference will cover topics such as affinity marketing,
demographics research, family service, hiring dos and don'ts, setting
sales team expectations, measuring performance and "motivation on a
shoestring." Attendees will receive a valuable binder filled with useful
handouts and ancillary information to take back to their locations.
For a complete program and registration materials, visit
http://www.icfa.org/nakedsales02.htm.
---------------------------------------------------
ICFA PUBLISHES MEMBERSHIP DIRECTORY & BUYER'S GUIDE
The ICFA has published its 2001-2002 Buyer's Guide and Membership
Directory. Members who are current on their dues will receive their
copies in late October or early November. This year's directory offers a
cross-reference of member cemeteries, funeral homes and allied
businesses; a listing of state, regional, national and international
industry associations; an extensive guide to suppliers; a directory of
mortuary schools; a listing of ICFA officers, directors and committees;
and an extensive index of individuals.
Members are encouraged to check their listings for accuracy. If your
entries are incorrect or incomplete, please fill out the card
accompanying your directory and return it to the ICFA. Members also may
use the card to order additional directories. For information or an
order form, call the ICFA at 1-800-645-7700, ext. 216.
---------------------------------------------------
OCTOBER PRODUCT OF THE MONTH: GARY O'SULLIVAN TAPES
During the month of October, the ICFA is offering discounts on audio and
video tapes from preneed sales training expert Gary O'Sullivan, CCE.
Items on sale include: "Service$elling," a six-audiotape set. Regular
price: $75 per set; October price: $60 per set! "A Basic Approach to
Selling Preneed," a six-audiotape set. Regular price: $75 per set;
October price: $60 per set! "Secrets to Success in the Prearrangement
Industry," a one-hour training cassette. Regular price: $10.95 per tape;
October price: $5 per tape! "Holding a Successful Sales Meeting"
videotape. Regular price: $35 per tape; October price: $12.50 per tape!
And "Getting Counselors to Get Results" videotape. Regular price: $35
per tape; October price: $12.50 per tape!
For more information, visit http://www.icfa.org/oct.htm. To order, call
1-800-645-7700, ext. 216.
---------------------------------------------------
SPECIAL NOTICE: IS YOUR ACCESS TO ICFA WEB SITE BEING BLOCKED?
Due to problems with the NIMDA Internet virus, the ICFA has had to block
certain servers from accessing its Web site. If you are experiencing
problems accessing the site, please contact your Internet Service
Provider to ensure they are virus-free and then call the ICFA to have
your server unblocked.
---------------------------------------------------
AND MORE É
The ICFA Fall Management Conference, October 24-27 at the Hilton La
Jolla Torrey Pines in San Diego, California, will challenge attendees
with the theme, "Has Anyone Moved Your Cheese Yet?" In addition to
educational programming, attendees will have opportunities to
participate in golf and tennis tournaments, networking receptions and a
closing dinner. For information and registration materials, contact the
ICFA at 1-800-645-7700 or visit http://www.icfa.org/educ2.html.
The ICFA KIP (Keeping It Personal) Awards recognize the best in
personalization in the cemetery and funeral services industry. All ICFA
members are eligible to attend, including cemeteries, funeral homes,
monument retailers, suppliers and related businesses. The deadline for
entry is January 15, 2002. For additional information and an entry form,
visit http://www.icfa.org/kip.htm.
The ICFA offers videotapes of presentations from Naked Sales I, the
highly successful 1999 Sales Management and Marketing Conference. Videos
of Naked Sales II and III will be available this fall. Prices vary; to
receive a complete listing of tapes and an order form, call ICFA Member
Services Administrator Alex Toth at 1-800-645-7700, ext. 216.
Since April 2000, the ICFA has waged an ongoing media campaign to
educate consumers about the value of remembrance, memorialization and
preplanning for cemetery and funeral expenses. For more information and
to view copies of the news releases, visit
http://www.icfa.org/media.htm.
Need a labor relations and employment law attorney? Check out ICFA's
benefit program offering free telephone legal consultations at
http://www.icfa.org/pepperman.htm.
ICFA members can establish their own Web sites for just $14.95 per
month, with no up-front fees. FuneralAssistant.com provides complete Web
site design, up to six pages; monthly site hosting; assignment of a
Keyword that directs Internet customers to the site; and Web site
updates. For more information, visit http://www.icfa.org/WebBenefit.htm.
---------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------
In a message dated 10/19/01 1:58:45 PM, lacorn@icfa.org writes:
<< Below is the most recent edition of ICFA WIRELESS. If you no longer wish
to receive this biweekly copy of the newsletter, please let me know.
Linda Budzinski
Communications Director
International Cemetery and Funeral Association
Reston, Virginia
1-800-645-7700, ext. 220
*************************************************************************
ICFA WIRELESS &endash; October 16, 2001 Edition Vol. 2 No. 24
*************************************************************************
ICFA WIRELESS is a biweekly electronic newsletter bringing members of
the International Cemetery and Funeral Association the latest government
and legal, industry and association news. It is available to all ICFA
members current on their dues. Comments, questions and "hot news tips"
are welcome. Write to: mailto:wireless@icfa.org.
IN THIS EDITION:
INDUSTRY NEWS
Rumors Surface of Industry 'Profiteering' from 9/11 Aftermath
TX Attorney General Holds That Archdiocese Must Obtain Preneed Permit
ICFA Initiates Music License Coalition
ICFA NEWS
Naked Sales IV: New Topics, New Speakers, Same Great Format!
ICFA Publishes Membership Directory & Buyer's Guide
October Product of the Month: Gary O'Sullivan Tapes
SPECIAL NOTICE: Is Your Access to ICFA Web Site Being Blocked?
--------------------------
INDUSTRY NEWS
--------------------------
RUMORS SURFACE OF INDUSTRY 'PROFITEERING' FROM 9/11 AFTERMATH
Since the September 11 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and
the Pentagon, the ICFA has been identifying and responding to various
media reports alleging that funeral service members may be attempting to
profit from the carnage. Initially, the ICFA received reports from
members that New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani had cautioned funeral
homes against "price gouging." However, the ICFA subsequently determined
that the mayor never made such remarks. In another instance, a caller
into a New York talk show claimed that funeral directors were paid a
"bounty" for reporting decedents' Social Security numbers to the Social
Security Administration. ICFA contacted the show to point out that
funeral homes routinely notify the government and credit card companies
with such information but do not receive compensation.
The Association has also received several calls from media sources
inquiring how funeral homes and cemeteries are gearing their sales
efforts in the aftermath of September 11. The media is obviously
searching for instances of exploitation by the industry. ICFA members
should contact the Association at mailto:wireless@icfa.org or
1-800-645-7700 with any reports they encounter alleging exploitation by
funeral service personnel.
---------------------------------------------------
TX ATTORNEY GENERAL HOLDS THAT ARCHDIOCESE MUST OBTAIN PRENEED PERMIT
An increasing number of religious organizations throughout the United
States are engaging in the preneed sales of funeral and burial services
and merchandise, raising the issue of whether such entities should
comply with legal requirements imposed on non-religious sellers of
similar services and merchandise.
A case in point: A September 26 letter to the Texas Banking Commission
from Texas Attorney General John Cornyn reviewed the issue of whether a
religious entity must comply with state preneed regulations, including
obtaining a permit, in order to sell funeral and burial
services/merchandise. Specifically, the Archdiocese of San Antonio sells
"certain prepaid funeral benefits" but argued it was not required to
comply with statutory requirements for preneed sellers because: 1) it
was not a "person" under the statute's definition; 2) it does not sell
to the "public" as referenced by the law; and 3) requiring compliance
would violate both the Free Exercise Clause and the Establishment Clause
of the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.
The Attorney General (AG) reasoned that an exemption for "religious
organizations" enacted in 1955 was subsequently repealed by the
legislature in 1963. With regard to selling to "the public," the AG
cited a federal district court decision stating that a musical
performance was considered "public" even though it was provided to an
audience of 21 golf club members and guests. Using this reasoning, the
AG held that members of the Roman Catholic Church were sufficiently
numerous to constitute "the public" within the definition of the preneed
statute. With respect to the First Amendment Constitutional freedom of
religion argument, the AG reasoned, based on case law, that the preneed
law did not impose regulations upon the Catholic faith nor were its
requirements burdensome.
The AG concluded that the preneed statute was religiously neutral and
affected all sellers regardless of whether they were secular or
religious. At this point, it is unclear whether the Archdiocese will
contest the AG's opinion letter.
---------------------------------------------------
ICFA INITIATES MUSIC LICENSE COALITION
The ICFA has announced the formation of a Music License Coalition to
provide music licenses for $185 annually per location. Open to all
companies in the cemetery and funeral service industry, the Coalition
has an agreement with all three music licensing organizations&emdash;ASCAP, BMI
and SESAC&emdash;to provide this discount once it has a total of 5,000
participating locations. No trade association membership is required to
join the Coalition and obtain the discount.
If enough properties join the Coalition by November 15, 2001, the
discount will be available for the year beginning January 1, 2002. If
the Coalition cannot offer the discount for 2002, the ICFA will work
through next year to get enough participants for 2003.
Funeral homes and cemeteries of any size that host public services where
copyrighted music is performed or played from recordings are legally
required to pay an annual licensing fee to ASCAP, BMI and SESAC. Small
businesses that have been found to be unlicensed have been fined $20,000
for a single infraction.
Industry members interested in signing on as a Coalition member can call
the Music License Coalition at 1-800-645-7700 or send a note with
company name, address and phone number by e-mail to
mailto:music@icfa.org or by fax to (703) 391-8416. No payment is
necessary until after November 15, when it will be determined whether
the group discount can be offered for the coming year. For additional
information, visit http://www.icfa.org/music/.
---------------------------------------------------
------------------
ICFA NEWS
------------------
NAKED SALES IV: NEW TOPICS, NEW SPEAKERS, SAME GREAT FORMAT!
Want to learn the latest preneed sales and marketing techniques? Looking
for a way to reward your top counselors? Naked Sales IV: International
Cemetery and Funeral Sales Management and Marketing Conference requires
just two days away from the office and offers two dozen sessions filled
with practical, "how-to" instruction.
To be held January 17-18, 2002, at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas, Nevada,
the Conference will cover topics such as affinity marketing,
demographics research, family service, hiring dos and don'ts, setting
sales team expectations, measuring performance and "motivation on a
shoestring." Attendees will receive a valuable binder filled with useful
handouts and ancillary information to take back to their locations.
For a complete program and registration materials, visit
http://www.icfa.org/nakedsales02.htm.
---------------------------------------------------
ICFA PUBLISHES MEMBERSHIP DIRECTORY & BUYER'S GUIDE
The ICFA has published its 2001-2002 Buyer's Guide and Membership
Directory. Members who are current on their dues will receive their
copies in late October or early November. This year's directory offers a
cross-reference of member cemeteries, funeral homes and allied
businesses; a listing of state, regional, national and international
industry associations; an extensive guide to suppliers; a directory of
mortuary schools; a listing of ICFA officers, directors and committees;
and an extensive index of individuals.
Members are encouraged to check their listings for accuracy. If your
entries are incorrect or incomplete, please fill out the card
accompanying your directory and return it to the ICFA. Members also may
use the card to order additional directories. For information or an
order form, call the ICFA at 1-800-645-7700, ext. 216.
---------------------------------------------------
OCTOBER PRODUCT OF THE MONTH: GARY O'SULLIVAN TAPES
During the month of October, the ICFA is offering discounts on audio and
video tapes from preneed sales training expert Gary O'Sullivan, CCE.
Items on sale include: "Service$elling," a six-audiotape set. Regular
price: $75 per set; October price: $60 per set! "A Basic Approach to
Selling Preneed," a six-audiotape set. Regular price: $75 per set;
October price: $60 per set! "Secrets to Success in the Prearrangement
Industry," a one-hour training cassette. Regular price: $10.95 per tape;
October price: $5 per tape! "Holding a Successful Sales Meeting"
videotape. Regular price: $35 per tape; October price: $12.50 per tape!
And "Getting Counselors to Get Results" videotape. Regular price: $35
per tape; October price: $12.50 per tape!
For more information, visit http://www.icfa.org/oct.htm. To order, call
1-800-645-7700, ext. 216.
---------------------------------------------------
SPECIAL NOTICE: IS YOUR ACCESS TO ICFA WEB SITE BEING BLOCKED?
Due to problems with the NIMDA Internet virus, the ICFA has had to block
certain servers from accessing its Web site. If you are experiencing
problems accessing the site, please contact your Internet Service
Provider to ensure they are virus-free and then call the ICFA to have
your server unblocked.
---------------------------------------------------
AND MORE É
The ICFA Fall Management Conference, October 24-27 at the Hilton La
Jolla Torrey Pines in San Diego, California, will challenge attendees
with the theme, "Has Anyone Moved Your Cheese Yet?" In addition to
educational programming, attendees will have opportunities to
participate in golf and tennis tournaments, networking receptions and a
closing dinner. For information and registration materials, contact the
ICFA at 1-800-645-7700 or visit http://www.icfa.org/educ2.html.
The ICFA KIP (Keeping It Personal) Awards recognize the best in
personalization in the cemetery and funeral services industry. All ICFA
members are eligible to attend, including cemeteries, funeral homes,
monument retailers, suppliers and related businesses. The deadline for
entry is January 15, 2002. For additional information and an entry form,
visit http://www.icfa.org/kip.htm.
The ICFA offers videotapes of presentations from Naked Sales I, the
highly successful 1999 Sales Management and Marketing Conference. Videos
of Naked Sales II and III will be available this fall. Prices vary; to
receive a complete listing of tapes and an order form, call ICFA Member
Services Administrator Alex Toth at 1-800-645-7700, ext. 216.
Since April 2000, the ICFA has waged an ongoing media campaign to
educate consumers about the value of remembrance, memorialization and
preplanning for cemetery and funeral expenses. For more information and
to view copies of the news releases, visit
http://www.icfa.org/media.htm.
Need a labor relations and employment law attorney? Check out ICFA's
benefit program offering free telephone legal consultations at
http://www.icfa.org/pepperman.htm.
ICFA members can establish their own Web sites for just $14.95 per
month, with no up-front fees. FuneralAssistant.com provides complete Web
site design, up to six pages; monthly site hosting; assignment of a
Keyword that directs Internet customers to the site; and Web site
updates. For more information, visit http://www.icfa.org/WebBenefit.htm.
---------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------
In a message dated 10/11/01 5:59:36 PM, Paula in Montana sends us:
A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks right to the top, rocks about 2" diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them in to the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. The students laughed He asked his students again if the jar was full?
They agreed that yes, it was. The professor then picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
"Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognize that this is your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children - anything that is so important to you that if it were lost, you would be nearly destroyed.
The pebbles are the other things in life that matter, but on a smaller scale. The pebbles represent things like your job, your house, your car.
The sand is everything else. The small stuff.
If you put the sand or the pebbles into the jar first, there is no room for the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your energy and time on the small stuff, material things, you will never have room for the things that are truly most important.
Pay attention to the things that are critical in your life. Play with your children. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal."
Take care of the rocks first - the things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just pebbles and sand.
In a message dated 10/19/01 6:11:55 PM, DennisCMcGeeJr@aol.com writes:
From coffin to storyteller
Coffins, a Greek translation for the word Basket, have been in use as long as there have been earth burials. People have put the deceased in coffins for either comfort during their journey from one world to the next or to protect their loved ones from harsh natural elements. In the early fifteenth century coffins had evolved into more decorative and ornate caskets. The functional use of the casket, by today's standards, is to house and protect the remains of the deceased for visitation and funeral purposes as well as final disposition. In the maturation of funeral services to staging funeral experiences, the casket has become more than just that alone
Historically, caskets have been both marketed by licensed funeral professionals and mistaken by consumers as being the complete funeral. For example, the nicer the casket that was bought, the more lavish the funeral became. Following a shift in business practices from product emphasis to service emphasis, licensed funeral professionals concentrated on services such as embalming and visitation amongst other funeral services in lieu of products. In the third, and most recent, paradigm shift from funeral services to staging funeral experiences the emphasis has been placed on the complete funeral, the value of all the components collectively, and their relationship with each other.
According to Joseph Pine & James H.. Gilmore, authors of The Experience Economy, Work is Theater& Every Business a Stage, services are the stage and goods are the props used to engage the consumers, making the experience more memorable.
The funeral experience is a hybrid, composed of both products as well as services. While each component holds its unique value the casket is the most significant, tangible prop in the funeral experience, other than the deceased. Regardless of the composition of the casket, construction and protection qualities are important for maintaining a secure place of disposition. However, the value that the casket has is much different during the visitation and funeral services.
To make an analogy between theater and staging funeral experiences the deceased, of course, is the main character in the story that is being told. We are celebrating their life and sharing the details of a life that has been lived. Then, who or what is the supporting character? The casket. With the advanced technology in casket production and customization we can no longer rely only on the functional use of the casket, but rather, we can employ it to help tell the story of just who the deceased was and the passions they enjoyed in their life. Customized corners and inserts, embroidered cap panels and blankets, exterior engravings, memorial boxes, keepsakes and many other innovations are all poised to help detail and explain a life that is being celebrated. Through the visitation, the funeral itself and final disposition, the casket is the only tangible object remaining in the relationship that loved ones share with the deceased. Until final disposition we must employ all of these factors to preserve that relationship
Dennis C. McGee, Jr., Funeral Director
Sweeney Funeral Home
337 Bridgeboro St.
Riverside, New Jersey
(856) 461-1116
Fx. (856) 764-8078
In a message dated 10/12/01 10:47:40 AM, Josh in New York writes:
Please Adult Language in these harsh photos http://www.3dz.net/priceless.jpg
NCFDA E-Line
October 15, 2001
STATE SALES AND USE TAX INCREASES TEMPORARILY
NCFDA members are reminded that the State sales and use tax rate increases temporarily by 1/2% effective Tuesday, October 16, 2001, and the rate increase will expire June 30, 2003. The new general State rate will increase from 4% to 4 1/2% and the county tax will remain at 2% (2 1/2% for Mecklenburg County) for a total combined state and county rate of 6.5% statewide (except for Mecklenburg County which will be 7%).
NEWS FROM NFDA CONVENTION IN ORLANDO, FL
1) The NFDA House of Delegates voted to return the membership classifications from an individual-based structure back to a firm-based membership structure. Under this new system the funeral home is the member and each licensee of the firm is once again considered members. Membership dues would be tiered, based on caseload. The new structure becomes effective for dues year 2003.
2) Doggett Whitaker, Whitaker Funeral Home in Newberry, SC, won the election for Secretary of the NFDA and will culminate as President in 2004.
NCFDA CALENDAR OF EVENTS
Oct 17 "Funding Methods for Prearranged Funeral Contracts" by Vision Insurance at Sagebrush, Marion from 9:50 AM &endash; 2:30 PM. Contact Michael Wilson at 336-877-3960. (6.0 c.e.c.). Also Held at the Following Locations:
Nov 8 Western Sizzlin', Conover
Nov 15 Ryan's, Asheville
Dec 6 Western Sizzlin', Conover
Dec 13 Ryan's, Asheville
Oct 15 "Safety & Compliance" at Sechrest Funeral Service in High Point from 8:30 AM &endash; 3:00 PM. Contact Neil Whitaker at 336-889-3811. (5.0 c.e.c.)
Oct 17 Ballots for State Board election run-off mailed.
Oct 16 District 11 Meeting with Mark Henderson, Executive Director of the NC Board of Mortuary Science, on Laws & Legislation. The meeting will be held at the Campfire Steak & Buffet in Black Mountain with dinner at 6:00 PM and the program from 7:00 - 9:00 PM. Dinner costs will be order from the menu and program fees are $5 per NCFDA Member. Contact Rick Harwood at 828-645-3011. (Requested 2.0 c.e.c.)
Oct 16 "Life Insurance Claims, Funeral Service On the Outside Looking In, etc." at Washburn & Dorsey Funeral Home in Bostic from 5:45 &endash; 8:55 PM. Contact Kent Dorsey at 828-248-1234. (3.0 c.e.c.)
Oct 18 "Customer Service: The Other Half of Your Job" at Southeastern Community College & Halifax Community College from 1:00 &endash; 6:00 PM. Contact Lin Mitchell at 919-384-1718. (5.0 c.e.c.)
Oct 23-24 NC Crematory Operators Training Class sponsored by the Cremation Association of NC at L. Harold Poole Funeral Service & Crematory in Knightdale. Registration packages will be mailed to all crematories in NC in late August. Contact Melissa Barnes at 919-266-3646. (8.5 c.e.c)
Oct 24 "A Case Study of Formaldehyde During Embalming, etc." at Lincoln County Senior Center of Gaston College from 9:00 AM &endash; 3:00 PM. Contact Joe Bothel at 704-937-7773. (5.0 c.e.c.)
Oct 24 NCFDA Web Site Development Sub-Committee, 10:30 AM at Hayworth-Miller Funeral Home in Advance, NC
Oct 25 NCFDA Education Committee Meeting, 10:00 AM at NCFDA Office in Raleigh, NC.
Nov 1 District 8 Meeting with Dr. Winston, Medical Examiner with Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center, at the Village Inn Golf & Conference Center in Clemmons, NC with dinner at 6:00 PM and the program at 7:00 PM. Contact Dorman Caudle at 336-765-8181. (Requested 2.0 c.e.c.)
Nov 5 Deadline for State Board ballot return at 5:00 PM at State Board office.
Nov 7 State Board Meeting at 9:00 AM and ballot counting at 1:00 PM at their office in Raleigh.
Nov 8 NCFDA Convention Committee at Grove Park Inn in Asheville at 2:00 PM.
Nov 8 District 2 Meeting with Dr. John Lambeth on OSHA Rules & Regulations and Mark Henderson, Executive Director of the NC Board of Mortuary Science, on Laws & Legislation. The meeting will be held at the Holiday Inn in Williamston with dinner at 6:00 PM and the program from 7:00 - 9:00 PM. Costs for dinner and program are $15 per NCFDA Member and $20.00 per Non-Member. (2.0 c.e.c.)
Nov 13 NCFDA Board of Directors Meeting at the School of Funeral Service at Fayetteville Technical Community College at 10:00 AM.
Nov 14 "Cremation in the New Millennium" at the Goldsboro Country Club sponsored by Arnold Wilbert Corporation from 8:30 AM &endash; 3:30 PM. Contact Vickie Zimmerman at 800-672-4748. (5.0 c.e.c.)
Nov 14 "Specialty Uses of Life Insurance, etc." sponsored by Heritage School at the Ramada Inn, Kopper Kettle Restaurant in Goldsboro, from 9:00 AM &endash; 4:15 PM. Contact David Clark at 800-422-2011, ext. 1021. (3.5 c.e.c. approved)
Nov 13-14 "Funeral Funding Regulations" (2.5 c.e.c.) and "Preneed Insurance Lifecycle Performance" (1.0 c.e.c.) by Homesteaders Life Company in Fayetteville from 8:00 AM - 2:15 PM. Contact Steve Whitaker at 800-777-3633, ext. 440.
Nov 15 "Understanding Diversity in Funeral Service" at LCC, Bullock Building #1, Room 150 at Lenoir Community College in Kinston from 5:00 &endash; 10:00 PM. Contact Jessie Wooten at 252-527-6223, ext. 716. (5.0 c.e.c.)
Nov 15-16 Funeral Funding Regulations" (2.5 c.e.c.) and "Preneed Insurance Lifecycle Performance" (1.0 c.e.c.) by Homesteaders Life Company in Winston-Salem from 8:00 AM - 2:15 PM. Contact Steve Whitaker at 800-777-3633, ext. 440.
Nov 19 "Safety & OSHA Compliance, etc." at Little Church on the Lane Social Hall in Charlotte from 2:00 &endash; 8:00 PM. Contact Chris Headley at 704-334-6421. (5.0 c.e.c.)
Dec 7 "Criminal Investigation, etc." at Cleveland Community College in Shelby from 9:00 AM &endash; 4:00 PM. Contact Chris Nanney at 704-481-4117. (5.0 c.e.c.)
Dec 12 "Fundamentals of Outer Burial Containers" at Arnold-Wilbert Corp. in Goldsboro from 8:30 AM &endash; 2:30 PM. Contact Vickie Zimmerman at 919-735-5008. (4.0 c.e.c.)
June 10 &endash; 12, 2002&emdash; NCFDA Annual Convention at the Grove Park Inn Resort, Asheville, NC
Additions, Corrections and/or Deletions to E-Line
Send additions, corrections and/or deletions for the NCFDA E-Line to Membership Services Director Pat Hayes at: phncfda@aol.com
In a message dated 10/19/01 8:39:19 AM, Fergertron@aol.com writes:
Sunday Oct. 7th 2001 I cut out of the NFDA convention early to drive 15 mins. South of the Convention Center to EPCOT at Disney World. Where I become a "Cast Member" at their Living Seas Exhibit. Any certified diver can apply to join the Epcot Divequest program. It costs $140.00 and allows you to "go where few have gone before".
We where told to meet outside the guest relations office where our C-cards where checked and we gave Disney our sizes for our wet suits, booties, and BCs. The cards and size requirements where handed off to one of the dive masters and the 8 of us were escorted "behind scenes" (Cast members only) past the Living Sea's massive water purification system (lager than the City of Orlando's) into the Divequest classroom where we were given a pre-dive briefing and we viewed an introduction video. After questions, we where off to the changing rooms where each of us had a bag marked with our name. Each bag had a shorty Body Glove Wet suit and our booties. After changing we turned our locker keys back to our greeter and she led us "on stage" as we emerged for the 1st time in Sea Base Alpha . We were led through the crowd of guests (they didn't know we were also guests) and up a spiral staircase to the top of the 6 million gallon tank of sea water and sea life. Here we were directed to our weight belts, BCs, and fins. They were all configured and set up for us. We were introduced to our Dive Master, Safety Diver and Cinematographer. Disney handled everything; assisting the placement of BCs, providing us with "Mickey Spit" for the masks (you could use your own masks) and a quick BC refresher course. We were ready to enter the tank.
WHAT A BLAST! You could dive for years and not see the variety of creatures we had the chance to swim with. Two of the largest sea turtles I've seen anywhere were residents of the wet side. One of the neat things I love about diving is the opportunity to mingle and interact with the wildlife. There was plenty of that (they can touch you - but you don't touch them). But what was neater than that was, mingling and interacting with the humans on the dry side of the tank! Remember we were part of the show. Where else could you experience this phenomena? The kids were in awe of us. We would "sneak up on them" from behind, from below, from on top of them and then begin a ritual of placing our hands on the glass separating us and watch as they would mirror us. We'd start a clockwise circle - they'd follow-and we'd start going counter clockwise then we'd play patty cake with them. Diving down to the restaurant we'd motion we'd like a drink and kids and adults would bring their drinks over to the glass. One kid motioned me to come close so he could take a picture - I motioned him to hold on while I removed my regulator and gave him a big smile. He didn't take the shot - still smiling I indicated with my hand he should hurry up - a crowd was forming - I grasped my neck - still smiling-he took the picture - several others did too- I got a standing ovation! I could have done that for hours. Head over to were the tram "ferries guests into the Sea Base" you can hang onto the glass panels and wave at the folks from above them (watch their reactions!). Parents thanked us for interacting with their children but honestly, we were having more fun than the kids.
Luckily for us there was no group coming behind us so our 35-40 dive went 50 mins. After showering and changing back into guest clothes, they provide you a T-shirt, certificate, log sheets, non alcoholic drinks and a chance to watch the video you just stared in (you can buy it if you want - no pressure) . I highly recommend this dive to anyone from beginner to expert. The price paid includes your air, use of their equipment, training, park admission and parking (just tell the guard at the gate you're a Divequest cast member). If you do the dive, say Hi to Marilyn the largest shark in the tank for me (yes the fish have names) we had a "special moment" together.
For more info: http://www.naui.org/NAUI_DiveQuestInfo.html
by:
Fred Fergerson
Fergerson Funeral Home, Inc.
North Syracuse, New York 13212
Fergertron@aol.com
In a message dated 10/23/01 10:20:46 AM, Marty in New York writes: John Christine Pepper sent this New York Times Article out this morning, you probably already have it, was good to see you in Nova Scotia, what a small world.
Disaster's Toll Doesn't Necessarily Mean Profit for Those Who Bury Dead
October 20, 2001
By SHAILA K. DEWAN
The funeral industry, one of the few businesses expected to
profit in the World Trade Center attack, has seen no
significant spike in revenues and, according to some
industry analysts, may actually be losing money in the
aftermath of Sept. 11.
People in the funeral business say that even with the
staggering number of casualties, funeral homes may stand to
lose out, with some discreetly discounting their services
or hiring extra help to handle unusually high attendance at
memorials.
"I would say that's a very, very strong possibility," said
Ron Hast, the publisher of Mortuary Management magazine.
"These people have looked at this as a way of trying to
serve their community."
Experts like John Carmon, the president of the National
Funeral Directors Association, cite many reasons for the
disaster's negligible economic effects on the "death care
industry," as people in the business call it. The victims
were geographically dispersed, he said, and the slow pace
of the medical examiner's office, which has thousands of
body parts to identify, means that funerals will be spread
out over time. In the meantime, funeral homes are not
preparing human remains or selling profitable items like
coffins.
Instead, funeral directors, who insist they are not
watching the bottom line, have taken on the role of
organizer or counselor. Many families have bypassed funeral
homes, planning services themselves.
"There are times like this when a funeral home probably
loses money," said Jim Nolan Jr., a co-owner of Nolan
Taylor-Howe Funeral Home in Northport, N.Y. But those cases
could be looked at as an opportunity for people who
normally must juggle money and death to demonstrate
compassion, he said. "The more people who attend funerals
and see what we do here and get value from it, the better
it is for the industry."
It is difficult to come up with the total cost of funerals
and memorial services that have been held so far. But as of
yesterday, the Red Cross had paid nearly $5.6 million to
1,029 families for funerals or memorial services and
related expenses like limousines and flowers, said Mitch
Hibbs, a spokesman for the agency. That is an average of
$5,400 per funeral, far less than the agency's initial
estimate that each funeral in the metropolitan region would
cost about $10,000. In some cases, the low numbers reflect
in-kind donations from funeral homes, and in other cases,
the Red Cross paid only part of the costs, Mr. Hibbs said.
More funerals have been paid for by the New York State
Crime Victims Board; as of Oct. 14, it had filled 2,612
claims, some of which included funeral costs. The amount
allocated specifically for funerals has yet to be
calculated, said Caroline Quartararo, a board spokeswoman.
The amounts of public and charitable dollars for funerals
and memorial services are not enough to significantly
affect the balance sheet in an industry where the amount of
business at any single home can vary 10 or 15 percent each
year, funeral directors say. Funeral homes in the New York
City region and in New Jersey combined have an annual
revenue of about $700 million a year, said Wilson H. Beebe,
the executive director of the funeral directors
associations representing both areas.
In the World Trade Center disaster, there have also been
difficult questions to ponder, and sometimes the answers
are unavoidably tied to profit. For example, does a family
with only some human remains need a full-size coffin for
symbolic satisfaction? Many funeral directors say they will
follow a family's lead.
"Undoubtedly a tragedy like this does bring out the best in
the funeral industry," said Lisa Carlson, executive
director of the Funeral Consumers Alliance, which educates
people on how to protect themselves from price-gouging. The
alliance has received no complaints of abuse or exorbitant
charges in the weeks after the attacks, she said.
Mr. Beebe said that for auxiliary enterprises like
limousine services, any increase in business has likely
been diffuse enough to go virtually unnoticed. At the
Batesville Casket Company, a national manufacturer, "it's
basically, from a business standpoint, been business as
usual," said Joe Weigel, a spokesman.
Even offers of free or discounted services have not drawn
an overwhelming number of requests.
For years, Service Corporation International, which owns
about 40 funeral homes in the metropolitan area, has
offered a free basic funeral package to public servants who
die in the course of duty. The package is worth $6,000 to
$8,000 and includes a coffin, said Robert Budway, the
director of operations for the company's funeral homes. He
said that more than a dozen such funerals had been donated
for trade center victims, but that the homes perform 15,000
funerals a year in the region.
If families of police officers, firefighters or emergency
medical technicians choose a more elaborate coffin or
services not included in the package, Mr. Budway said, the
city pays the difference.
Several cemeteries have offered discounts for victims as
well. The Roman Catholic Diocese of Brooklyn, which
operates several cemeteries on Long Island, waived overtime
and surcharges for work done on Saturdays. But again, with
only about 400 bodies identified, few have made use of the
offer.
Even funeral directors in suburbs that were
disproportionately affected have not had that much to do.
Gregory Pfleger, the owner of the Pfleger Funeral Home in
Middletown, N.J., where 36 residents were lost, said that
he had handled about a dozen memorial services for trade
center victims, compared with 325 total funerals a year. He
is charging enough to cover supplies, but not overhead, he
said.
"I don't even bring it up that this is what I'm doing. They
don't want to talk about what it costs, they just want it
done," he said. "Right now, it just seems like the right
thing to do."
Yet if the workload has been relatively light, funeral
directors said, the emotional toll has been great. "If you
talk to a funeral director who has handled five or six or
more funerals for the service people, they'll probably
never be the same," said Mr. Carmon, of the National
Funeral Directors Association.
Even for professionals trained to deal with bereavement,
tragic deaths are hard to bear. In addition to handling
memorial services, Mr. Pfleger has buried one trade center
victim: his next-door neighbor.
In a message dated 10/18/01 10:48:36 AM, Chris@theoutlookgroup.com writes:
Chris Kuhnen
Vice President, Marketing
PRESS RELEASE For Further
Information Contact
For Immediate Release Donald Dixon
(800) 331-6270
ACADEMY OF ADVANCE FUNERAL PLANNING ANNOUNCES TRAINING DATES FOR 2002
Franklin, OH. Don Dixon, Director, Academy of Advance Funeral Planning
announced Academy training dates for 2002. The announcement comes on the
heels of a record number of graduates in 2001. Over 40 attendees earned the
title Advance Funeral Planning Professional.
Training dates for 2002 are: January 21-24; February 18-21; April 7-12; May
20-23; June 24-27; July 22-25; September 23-26 and November 4-7.
Since The Academy's founding in 1994, over 150 graduates have received
diplomas and become results oriented producers for their funeral home and/or
cemetery. What makes The Academy of Advance Funeral Planning sales training
different from all other pre-need training courses? In addition to focusing
on educational accreditation, the Academy is a result-oriented program
developed for the serious minded pre-need producer. The unique course
curriculum and teaching style includes originative approaches and techniques
that have been time tested, field proven and have consistently achieved
impressive sales results over the years. The focus of the training centers
on "The 3 P's;" Prospecting, 'Ppointment Setting and Presenting sm .
Academy training forgoes the typical lecture format in that its
developmental exercises are extremely interactive and participatory.
Training participants are given the hands on opportunity to work with and
use the most modern and effective probing, discovery, presentation, time
management and objection handling techniques taught anywhere in the pre-need
industry today.
Training sessions include: Introduction To Funeral Service; Evolution of
Advance Funeral Planning and it's exposure in the media; Prospecting and
Lead Generation; Time Management and Organizational Skills; Goal Setting;
Funding Vehicle Options; Merchandising; The Cremation/Direct Disposition
Consumer; Insurance Product Comparative Analysis; Result Tracking; Ethics:
Probing and Listening Skills Development and much more.
The Academy of Advance Funeral Planning is open to anyone with a sincere
desire to gain the most effective advance funeral planning sales training in
funeral service today. Classes are limited in size to provide an extensive
amount of interactive role-playing opportunities.
For more information or to request an informational brochure contact Mr.
Donald M. Dixon, Director, Academy of Advance Funeral Planning, 121 East
Second Street, Franklin, Ohio 45005. Phone (800) 331-6270 or visit their web
site at http://www.theoutlookgroup.com.
In a message dated 9/27/01 10:42:24 PM, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania writes:
Dear Sir:
Unfairness..........that is exactly what I am experiencing within the Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania area regarding funeral service. Yes, I fully understand that "life isn't fair"; however, I decided to use the word "unfairness" instead of "discrimination." I am a woman, over 40 years of age, but did very well in Mortuary School and received several awards, (that and a $1.50 will get me a cup of coffee).
I am presently serving my internship (shabby as it may be) in Allegheny County.
I use the word "shabby" due to the complete lack of "TEACHING" during this internship. This is definitely NOT an isolated situation. Women are not ALLOWED to drive hearses, do home removals, do arrangements,etc. I am primarily "used" for cleaning and embalming sometimes. The fact is, if a woman can even find an internship in this area..................it is PART time, and we are NOT being taught the necessary requirements that the state demands. The preceptors and owners are downright lying, just saying that the required 35 bodies & 25 arrangements are completed. Therefore, what is happening is many "women" are getting that golden license in their hands and really don't know much more then they did upon Mortuary School graduation! This is NOT the fault of the intern.........but the fault lies directly with the employer.
I'm glad I've voiced my views on the matter. If nothing else it has helped me to deal with my resentment against the funeral service today. Owners...........please take heed of my words!
n a message dated 9/29/01 1:34:20 PM, Brian in New York writes:
Dear John, I won't be able to catch the on line discussion on Sunday but the topic is eye catching. I don't know if you caught this article but off course we have one of these in the New York area. Go to www.7online.com and hit the 'Seven on your side' link to the right. Scroll down to the article dated May 7, 2001. This should be a story about a woman having a difficult time with a 'certain Funeral Director' on putting up a headstone for a baby.
http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/news/WABC_7side_050701cemetery.html
Seven On Your Side Helps With Cemetery Problems(New York-WABC, May 7, 2001) _ A mother suffered a double tragedy after the death of her son at birth. She saved up money to buy a headstone for his grave, but three years later troubles with a funeral home kept her from finding peace. That's when she called Tappy Phillips and got Seven On Her Side.
It was a double heartbreak for the Queens mother. First she lost her infant son, then she was told she could not put a headstone on his grave. It seems the funeral director had not paid the cemetery bill. She had nowhere to turn, until she got Seven On Her Side.
Dawn Courtrier-Carr's infant son is buried in an unmarked grave at Rosedale Cemetery.
Dawn Courtrier-Carr, Mother: "When you go there there is just a number it's in the ground and it's just a number. It's just a number."
The cemetery won't allow her to put in a headstone.
Tappy Phillips, Eyewitness News: "They said that you could not put a stone on the grave. Why?" Courtrier-Carr: "Until the $425 was paid."
Dawn still has the baby clothes for the little boy who was stillborn in Spring of 1997. She had him buried in a family plot, next to her mother and a cousin. Now she wants to a headstone marking all of their final resting place, but cemetery policy prevented her.
Ed Faulkner, Rosedale Cemetery: "Until we collect the money we don't allow anything on it."
Dawn had paid the funeral director, Bernard Couch, nearly $600 to cover all her funeral expenses, including cemetery expenses, but the cemetery says they never got their money.
Courtrier-Carr: "It's like my son's death hit me all over again."
Dawn has continuously called and even confronted the funeral director asking about the payment.
Courtrier-Carr: "When he saw me he was like, 'What are you doing here?'"
Phillips: "What did you tell him?" Courtrier-Carr: "I said, 'Where is my damn money.' That's exactly what I told him."
The funeral director told us the money Dawn paid never got to him, even though his wife Vernice cashed the original check. But after Seven On Your Side got involved, Rosedale Cemetery's vice president said the problem was with the funeral director, not Dawn. After he heard her story he said he would allow her to install the headstone.
For More Information:
* Department of Consumer Affairs: http://www.ci.nyc.ny.us/html/dca/html/dcafuner.html
Tips To Fight Funeral Scams This weekend Mr.Couchsenta certified check for the full amount. Dawn says he will order the headstone as soon as possible. Rosedale Cemetery said they had previous problems with Bernard Couch, so to avoid problems like this, they suggest you ask the cemetery director for recommendations for reputable funeral homes. Last Updated: May 7, 2001
In a message dated 9/29/01 4:18:04 PM, glen@fmsolutions.com writes: Please check out www.septemberloss.com The first electronic memorial for all who lost their lives that day.
In a message dated 9/29/01 4:07:04 PM, Dwn 136 writes: can you pass this site around for us Thank you Remember us we made the FUneralHomesDirectory.com thepeoplesmemorials.com/ pass this site around please Thanks Dawn
In a message dated 10/17/01 7:47:30 AM, Peggy in New York writes:
A husband was advised by his psychiatrist to assert himself.
"You don't have to let your wife henpeck you. Go home and show her you're the boss."
The man was on fire with enthusiasm and couldn't wait to try the Doctor's advice...He rushed home, slammed the door, shook his fist in his wife's face, and growled, "From now on, you're taking orders from me. I want my supper right now, and when you get it on the table, go upstairs, and lay out my best clothes. Tonight, I'm going out with the boys and you're going to stay home where you belong.
And another thing...you know who's going to comb my hair, adjust my pants, and then tie my tie?"
"I certainly do," said his wife calmly.... "The Undertaker."
In a message dated 9/26/01 10:44:59 PM, Ron in California writes:
Just received a notice today--9/26/01--the cost of certifieds will go from $10 to $11 effective 10-1-01 in California. My recall is Texas charges a higher fee for the first DC and a lower fee for each additional DC--makes senses--someone has to take a DC to the copier, a cost involved, but after they are there, like other printing, each subsequent one is less. What an income maker!! Best to you, Ron White
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In a message dated 10/7/01 10:22:34 PM, Lyn in Massachusetts writes: John, Did you know about the website www.arcmesa.com for gaining CEUs and OSHA credits? Some of our grads are successfully using this. Hope that you are having fun in Florida. Lyn
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In a message dated 10/11/01 11:26:04 PM, Steve in Arizona writes:
Dear John,
After their embarassing untruths and missteps in the FFA vs IFFDA situation, I understand John Carmon met with these independents and they were of course also in Orlando.
I am in hope that John has tried to leave the door truly open to those who disagree and will keep it open for President Vandenbergh.
There are many other skeletons in their closet they need to air. Feel good policy statements and generic leadership conferences don't cut it. Specific and contentious issues are there. They need to be addressed in open forum.
The Preneed issue face off in Connecticut was a good start. Let's hope the next time a controversial issue pops up (such as the Florida debacle) they can issue a statement that deals with the issue head on in a TRUTH-ful manner from the start. It saves a lot of embarrasment and resentment when the facts come out weeks later. This is only a subtle hint to the new President because our dues and attendance at future events will speak much louder.
Steve in AZ
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Bioterrorism Mark sends us these site to consider
Paper:
http://www.darpa.mil/dso/textonly/thrust/bwd/dando.html
Anthrax case:
http://www.cnn.com/2001/HEALTH/conditions/10/04/us.anthraxcase.ap/index.html
Southern Research Institute:
Other links:
http://www.stimson.org/cwc/terror.htm
http://www.darpa.mil/dso/thrust/bwd/UPC/index.html
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In a message dated 10/20/01 9:49:23 AM, Dale in North Carolina writes: John- Thanks for the Anthrax article - I have shared it with all our staff. It's information like this that our associations should have already sent.
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In a message dated 10/15/01 3:02:15 PM, Lynn in Connecticut writes:
Hi John, Sorry i missed you in Orlando...we got hammered during the two weeks before I left, so I never got to check my e-mail...and I was even staying at the Rosen Centre! Anyway, I was disappointed that there was such a small turnout...in Baltimore we walked the aisles in the convention hall shoulder to shoulder and still bumped into people! I was also disappointed that there weren't more people attending the seminars...although several I attended were somewhat redundant in you read all the trade journals on a regular basis. I'm not sure how attendance was affected by the terrorist attacks at the WTC, but I know for a fact that many directors last year in Baltimore were only looking forward to 2002 in San Antonio.
I was up in your area the end of August...it certainly is beautiful there.
Oh, one other thing I noticed in the convention hall was that women funeral directors are virtually ingnored by reps...this happened to me at York, Batesville, Aurora, etc...and I actually buy from all of them. Pretty sad that the ting I was most impressed by was a small seed-impregnated heart paper that I stumbled over at the York display.
Take care...again, sorry I missed you in FLA.
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In a message dated 10/16/01 11:31:47 AM, lglawe@nfda.org writes:
Hi John. Compliments on your site...I browsed around again and think your information is very thorough. In fact, positive NFDA promotion that a lot of people will appreciate due to not being able to attend the event.
I enjoyed meeting you at convention and the chance to get to know you better. Fay and I have already discussed the type of NFDA information which may fit your format best--as I recall you saying--"shorter blurbs." We will keep you on the regular news release list, but will also give you bullet-pointed happenings more timely.
I would also like to express the opportunity for two-way feedback as well. Please give Fay or myself a call anytime. When you see NFDA doing something worth challenging, a phone call will always be well received.
Looking forward to working together John,
Laura Porfilio Glawe
Director of Communications
National Funeral Directors Association
13625 Bishop's Drive
Brookfield, WI 53005
lglawe@nfda.org
262-814-1530
262-789-6977 Fax
www.nfda.org
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In a message dated 10/16/01 4:49:27 PM, Vickie in North Carolina writes:
I want to thank you for your e-mail newsletter? I am with Wilbert in NC and read your e-mails all the time. I was very touched with your 'thank-you" to Wilbert for the party. You would be surprised how often we may not hear that. Often times as a supplier, it is expected to wine, dine and give (as it is) but to hear a thank-you feels great !
thank you
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In a message dated 10/16/01 4:50:28 PM, bforsberg@wilbertonline.com writes:
Hi Lowell, Thanks for your kind words about our company and its customer appreciation evening. Curt, our chairman, and I always enjoy your presence (as well as your camera!) as do the other Team Wilbert members
Best regards,
Bill Forsberg
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In a message dated 10/16/01 5:52:35 PM, Brian in New York writes: John thanks for the Wilbert Photos, so nice to see a very clear Thank You to my company. Even though you didn't get my picture, next year Ill jump in front of the camera LOL. Thanks again John
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In a message dated 10/16/01 9:16:05 PM, Vicky writes: John: Again a thank you for the coverage of the National Convention..it was just wonderful. Also thanks for the picture of Jack (my nephew) and Gail (my sister) at the REDBOOK Booth...I didn't make it this year and missed it very much and I feel like I have seen a little of it all because of your pictures and articles.... THANKS...Vicky....
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In a message dated 10/17/01 5:44:23 PM, cpepper@nfda.org writes:
Hi John,
It was good to see you in Orlando. WOW! You have out done yourself. The coverage on our convention was spectacular. Thanks, I really do appreciate it. This is what it is all about, funeral directors and the funeral service community coming together and uniting as one. I hope we continue to keep the communication lines open both ways.
Let me know if we can answer any questions or be of any help. Also, thanks for being a member. Without you, and thousands of other funeral directors, there would be no NFDA.
Take Care, Christine
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In a message dated 10/20/01 11:15:30 PM, Lyn in Massachusetts writes: In a message dated 10/7/01 10:22:34 PM, Lyn in Massachusetts writes: John, Did you know about the website www.arcmesa.com for gaining CEUs and OSHA credits? Some of our grads are successfully using this. Hope that you are having fun in Florida. Lyn >>
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You are welcome, to post your professional article here, you need to author your article and agree it will be posted with your full name. Please remember only FSPA members will have information posted in the weekly update, it's easy click here ---> Mailto:Lowellma@aol.com Your participation is appreciated and essential.
Got any Hot News for us. Issues that involve funeral service, in your community, it in, Everything you see here was send in by someone just like you. If there is a newspaper article in your area, send the link and we can all learn from it, even if it is your opinion we all learn from one another. Any HOT NEWS OR SCUTTLEBUTT WILL BE POSTED IN THE READER'S WRITE BACK SECTION.
Send your story or issue to FSPA just click here --->Lowellma@aol.com
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hire a funeral director
Hi We recently purchased a couple of funeral homes in RI and are trying to recruit someone to run our place in Southern RI. It also comes with a 5 bedroom duplex house next door for anyone who might be relocating. I found your link on funeralserviceprofessional.com and was hoping you might be able to help us find someone who might be looking for a position.
Would you have any resumes on hand or know of anyone who is looking for a licensed funeral director/embalmer position or can you point me in the direction.
I've tried many online sources and most of the funeral directors associations throughout the country but have not had much look...is it
that hard to find someone?
Thanks for any help you can give.
Regards
Laura Wistow
401-568-7077 fax 401-568-0808
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In a message dated 10/23/01 9:16:05 AM
MASSACHUSETTS FD Looking
White Male Early well dressed trim build early 50's 25 years experience with funeral service soup to nuts, first call, removal, preparation, arrangements, calling hours, funeral ceremony, experience in with all faiths. Seeking Full Time Position North of Boston. Please E-mail to ModernMarvels@aol.com
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You are welcome, to write us with your comments, suggestions, complaints and especially stories about funeral service. Please remember only FSPA members will have information posted in the weekly update, it's easy click here ---> Mailto:Lowellma@aol.com Your participation is appreciated and essential.
FUNERAL SERVICE PROFESSIONAL ASSOCIATION does not share membership info with anyone, no one will be given your information with out your permission or a court order.
To Join the Funeral Service Professional Association you must derive some of your income from the funeral industry, students and retirees from the funeral profession are welcome as well, please e-mail the following information.
If you skip answering one of the seven questions, you are wasting your time, the standards are the same for everyone, FSPA is open to everyone in funeral service, we are all equals here no exceptions, FSPA will not tell anyone who you are unless you request your identity be disclosed, FSPA is only open to any type of Funeral Service Professional, or Funeral Service Affiliate such as: Funeral Association employees, Mortuary School Students, Funeral Service product providers and Funeral Service Media.
Accountants will tell you FSPA is a write off ! Please check with your accountant. If s/he approves Go get yourself a nice laptop and possibly write off your hardware as well as AOL or other Internet service charge as an expense, the more your participate in FSPA the more proof you have.
If you have a suggested question this please just send it along, none of FSPA 's mail will be possible with out your sending information into us,
To make life easier on me
First and foremost, Send your info or story in to FSPA.
2nd Please put on the top line your name and location, like "John from Massachusetts writes :"
3rd please address the subject line put:
This is just a hobby, if you send and don't address the subject line with FSPA, it usually delete it because it looks like junk mail, FSPA get over 50 pieces of mail a day, most gets deleted, THE SUBJECT LINE is the key so please, use the subject line properly. Put FSPA in the Subject line along with the flavor of your message.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE the posting(s) you send are some times resent to others be careful, if you are proud of what you said and want the world to know how you feel Put your name, location and e-mail address at the end.
However If you don't want the world to know your ideas and you want to remain anonymous, just put name withheld at the end. FSPA does not reveal who its members are nor does FSPA lend it's list of members to others. There is no need to identify yourself. If you are not proud of your response (like the air line lost a body on us) it is not recommended you identify yourself, since we can all learn from problems. We need your input! Your answers go all over the place, E-mail is so easy to forward. We are happy to learn from your problems and issues, there is no need to identify yourself if you don't want to, South Western United States if just fine.
If the article you want is from a commercial publisher YOU MUST get permission from the person or company who created the story.
Because e-mail can be altered electronically, the integrity of this communication cannot be guaranteed. Any of the items you read here, you are free to reuse, understand, the postings are just that, the items are for the most part cut and pasted from E-mail, others FAXed and of course from funeral publications and other media. What you see here is never checked, if you do decide to republish or quote any thing FSPA puts out, check it out, please do not name the individual who sent the article without their permission. If you see fit to use any information from FSPA please give us credit. Ages ago a state association news letter posted a quote using the senders name, she was not a happy camper nor was her company, please use caution in the future. We appreciate your understanding and we need your support.
Consider these steps for your life.
1. Work like you don't need the money.
2. Love like you've never been hurt.
3. Dance like you do when nobody's watching.
C YA
John
BOTTOM LINE: WE ALL WORK FOR THE BETTERMENT OF FUNERAL SERVICE PROFESSION AND THE DEATH CARE INDUSTRY THE CONSUMERS WE SERVE AND THE PROFESSIONALS WE WORK WITH. IF YOU SEE ANYTHING WRONG, IF SOMETHING HERE REALLY OFFENDS YOU, LET'S WORK TOGETHER. PLEASE NOTIFY FSPA IMMEDIATELY, YOU CAN E-MAIL TO lowellma@aol.com Or call FSPA in the United States Voice 978-458-6816 Fax 978-459-0115 or the old fashioned way through the mail at FSPA c/o 14 Highland Street Lowell, Massachusetts 01852-3399 USA
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