09NOV08   JEALOSY IN THE WORKPLACE ©

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WELCOME, glad you could visit us, OUR TOPIC: "JEALOUSY IN THE WORKPLACE" THIS CHAT WILL PROBABLY BE COPIED TO www.funeralserviceprofessional.com FOR ANYONE TO ENJOY LATER. Just a few rules for everyone: 1. USE ONLY PLAIN BLACK TEXT 2 DO NOT USE COMPANY NAMES 3 DISCRIMINATION IS NOT ALLOWED. If you would like chat reminders please send to: LOWELLMA@AOL.COM
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Dave_B: hi john
Host_John: Hello David and Shawn
Dave_B: hey shawn
Host_John: a prefect day weather wize
Host_John: how are things your way Dave?
Dave_B: yes it was
Dave_B: all is well and you?
Host_John: Business no complaints
Host_John: your health if everything
Host_John: Dave how many people on your payroll
Dave_B: slow and steady like a herdf turtles
shawn: hello john
Host_John: Hello Shawn
Dave_B: all toral 3 directors and 1 bookeeper
Host_John: how do you manage jeliousy
Host_John: poor spelling
Dave_B: hmmmmm you mean directors toward boss or otherwise
Host_John: all employees full and part time
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Host_John: I usually hand them the hot potato
Dave_B: ahhhh like adult day care here
Host_John: let them manage the issue
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Dave_B: i close my ears
Dave_B: pisses em off even more
Host_John: I work to manage it
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Host_John: communicating with the complainer often they have no idea on what will make them happy
scud: like a wife? mad but not sure why?
Host_John: not talking homelife
Host_John: workplace issues, not a boss at home, it is much more team work at home
scud: takes each one at home giving 110%
Dave_B: some people are miserable no matter what environment
scud: true Dave
Host_John: is they are never happy it is time to move on
scud: their glass is always half-empty
Dave_B: yep
Dave_B: some have eternal clouds over them
Host_John: life is too short to be having a job you hate
Host_John: O bummer how to you manage Jealousy at work?
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Host_John: does anyone have a suggestion how to manage Jealousy?
Host_John: sometimes inextinguisable but it is manageable
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Host_John: OK, here is what I do
Host_John: I talk to the person privately
Host_John: finding out what the issue{s} are
Host_John: and explaining options open to remedy the issues
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Host_John: we agree on a action plan and engage on the issue
Host_John: it works for me
Host_John: I suggest you try it if you have difficulties in your workplace, I hope you have success
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Host_John: would that help your issue, or do you want to discuss this more
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Sheliah: I have fallen in love with my co-worker
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Sheliah: he has another woman in his life and it hurts every day
hrbeckham: hello all
scud: evening Hr
Host_John: workplace romance is very difficult
hrbeckham: scandel night?
scud: is he married to the other woman in his life?
Host_John: if your colleage is not haveing feelings for you, then you should dampen your interest in your collegue
POG70: Should be avoided
Sheliah: the money is too good to leave
angie: you can't get your money and your honey in the same place
hrbeckham: sounds like scandel to me
POG70: good one, angie
angie: works for me
Sheliah: Lol a good line
Sheliah: how does it work for you?
scud: money isn't everything
angie: I have found through past experiences that it is better to have work and relationships in different places
Sheliah: money is not important, it is on the same plane as oxygen
hrbeckham: I think professional jelousey is a bigger problem from my experience
scud: true - but there are good paying jobs in other places - though it may take some hard work to find something else. And who's to say that there might not be another place that would pay even more?
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scud: doesn't change my last comment
scud: sorry
Sheliah: work does not suffer just my feelings
scud: I might debate that one too
POG70: If the relationship has not become an active one, then it can be over before it starts
Sheliah: money does make misery much more easy to cope with
fd3: Hi, I haven't visited in awhile, unfortunately. I've missed a number of good topics. Glad to be back.
Sheliah: it is something I have to work out on my own, looks like it has not happened to anyone here
POG70: No one has said that
scud: is he married to the other woman in his life?
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angie: must have been a yes
scud: kind of what I was thinking
POG70: right
scud: twice she avoided the question
hrbeckham: sorry folks topic tonight is just not for me. I check back in later.. for now, I'll be on the sideband.
fd3: Sorry I missed it....someone want to tell me what the question was?
Host_John: the jeliousy I was speaking of was that of who gets the easy work
POG70: I think, or at least I assumed, the topic was professional jealousy
Host_John: not romancing at work, that is not for the workplace
scud: Sheliah apparently has feelings for a male co-worker, but there is another woman in the co-worker's life that is causing her jealousy
Host_John: yes professional jelousy
fd3: Ok. Thanks.
Host_John: OPEN FORUM FUNERAL CHATTER UNTIL THE TOP OF THE HOUR
scud: I've been frustrated at times looking at all the toys, trips, nice cars, etc. that my boss had and enjoyed feeling sorry for myself. But I always came back to the same question(s)...is he paying me what we agreed upon, am I meeting my needs and paying my bills, ..... then be happy
Host_John: POG we all have kiss ups working with us
POG70: I had a family of thirteen come in today to arrange a direct cremation
Host_John: we all live with in our means
Host_John: why did they come today instead of Monday?
Host_John: I do see a migration to putting off arrangements
POG70: One caller complained because they didn't come in yesterday
Host_John: no hurry
Host_John: we will be down wednesday!
POG70: Lol
Host_John: it happens
Host_John: you get the call on a friday and they tell you they will see you wednesday
POG70: A client of mine had a family refuse to come in..went on for weeks
Host_John: Yikes, your dad is dead shouldn't this make you want to re priorotize your schdule
fd3: That is ridiculous. When that happens, you need to be clear about the need to complete the paperwork in a timely manner.
POG70: They finally buried him after three weeks
Host_John: fd3 U R right
angie: that is terrible
scud: wasn't like he was going anywhere - but it did tie up space or a table in your facility
Host_John: we cannot wait that long, we will see you on Monday @ noon
angie: isn't it harder to work on the body when it has been around that long?
POG70: I told this family I met with today that we needed to get the paperwork done today so that we could get the permits, clearances, etc. done monday so that maybe we could do the cremation Tuesday
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Host_John: for no attended services we will meet on the the next weekday
cnmmnc: Ladies, Gentlemen, Good evening!
Host_John: Hello Cnmm
POG70: The three weeker had already been embalmed by me. So, there was no problem holding him three weeks
cnmmnc: whats new?
angie: oic
angie: I am a newbie.
angie: sorry
Host_John: all are welcome
Host_John: good to have you angie
angie: thank you
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POG70: No need for apology, angie. You haven't said anything wrong
angie: I saw my first autopsy body last week. He had been deceased for 3 days. The smell was not nice. I was thinking about how 3 weeks would be
Host_John: with good embalming and cool room remains can last a long time
Host_John: wating 3 weeks is way to long in my book but it was POG's decision
POG70: Unembalmed, the body deteriorates. Of course, depending upon the quality of the embalming, three days can be too long in some cases\
cnmmnc: I got a crazy case this week, the decedant had the 'flesh eating virus' it too was not pretty
Dave_B: ouch
POG70: Not my decision. I was surprised when on my next call to that firm, the body was still there
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Host_John: we have not see that yet, how did you clean up after that case with flesh eating disease
POG70: Those can be very tough cases, cnmmnc
POG70: Very carefully and thoroughly
Host_John: how do you clean up after Cnmmnc?
cnmmnc: well Dsd for instruments overnight, all the equipment, then bleached the whole room
Host_John: with what Windex?
Host_John: DSD?
Host_John: sunlight ?
cnmmnc: no no, john the chemical sterilant
Host_John: thanks
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Host_John: did you get direction from your association or board of health ?
angie: can you not use Clorox to sterlize
POG70: I know an embalmmer who says "airdry" is the best method
Host_John: un filtered Sunlight is good too
cnmmnc: I'll tell you, it was not the worst case I'd done, but it was a strong second...
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Host_John: was the casket open?
POG70: angie, diluted bleach can be used, but there is danger of corroding metal instruments
hrbeckham: angie, have you been to mortuary school?
cnmmnc: from the umbillicus down, it was as if someone took a hedge cutting machine and went down to the knees
angie: okay that makes sense. No I have not started mortuary school yet. I am still taking the basiccs
hrbeckham: where do you plan to go to school?
cnmmnc: not the worst, but definately second or third
angie: Catwaba Valley in Hickory, Nc
POG70: Many use a gluteraldehyde-based chemical sterilent in which the cleaned instruments are submerged overnight or so.
hrbeckham: well if they get the cases for embalming class from the county like we did...you have not smelled anything yet
angie: that is a comfort
cnmmnc: yeah, but the casket was open, the church was Packed
hrbeckham: truth
POG70: But then there are those who use nothing at all. Maybe wipe them off with a paper towel\
POG70: uck
Host_John: POG state inspectors should be checking instruments too!
POG70: They do, if they are out. But they don't touch or look very closely.
POG70: They usually ask what is used to clean instruments
hrbeckham: utility department here is telling funeral homes that they should limit fluid to 1 to 1 1/2 gal per body, and should switch to non toxic fluid....so far it is only a suggestion
Host_John: good question
Host_John: a bleach bath is good and leaving them out in sunlight
hrbeckham: every funeral director I know laughed
POG70: If I were inspecting, I'd ask to see the chemicals used\
cnmmnc: they do here pog
Host_John: POG you have to treat all the same way
Host_John: only so many hours in the day
POG70: Some prep rooms have nothing more than antibacyerial hand soap\
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Host_John: now you going to text the mixture in that bottle to be sure it contains what is in the bottle?
Host_John: whoops Test the mixture
POG70: That's the problem
Host_John: lets have a look at your billing for preperation products
Host_John: that is how I would handle it
POG70: Inspector asks what is done; embalmer says whatever satisfys the inspector
Host_John: what do you want to hear officer?
POG70: Our inspectors don't spend that much time.
Host_John: there is not that much time
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Host_John: better to spend time on places where you have bad practices
angie: is the proper sterilization for the embalmer or for the next client or both?
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Host_John: do you wear eye protection in the prep room?
Host_John: you should
S_Moore: hi room
Host_John: Hi Sam
Host_John: Hi ROn
POG70: Three inspectors to cover the state. fifteen to thirty minutes per stop, covering Ftc compliance, checking price lists, checking case files, etc. Little time for prep room inspection
cnmmnc: howdy!
Host_John: I agree POG
Host_John: they zero in on the bad gize
cnmmnc: i've had inspectors spend most of the time on the pre-arr. files
POG70: angie, for both, as well as for the embalmer's family, other staffers, and the public he comes in contact with
Host_John: cnmm that is where we are getting bad press in funeral service with missing pre need funds
angie: I understand
cnmmnc: of course
Host_John: a million dollars is missing but you should see how spotless their prep room is!
angie: a local funeral home was closed because of missing pre need funds
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POG70: Tenn has auditors for preneed, separate from funeral board inspectors
cnmmnc: i'm just saying in my experience thats where they spend most of the time at
RonHast: John: When you post, what is the basis of ===============================?
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Host_John: I copy text to web from there up
hrbeckham: by the way the credit crunch has hit a large Houston based corp. Their takeover of the Louisiana corp has been withdrawn
cnmmnc: yes! i read that in the magazine this week
POG70: No body has the cash..look at the automakers
RonHast: That's very old news.
hrbeckham: hey Ron, you are on the cutting edge...most of us depend on fyou for info
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RonHast: Thanks for the thought. But imagine, with both of our publications, we are about 2 weeks behind the happening.
Host_John: tuff to finance real estate, how can you borrow money on a property that is declining in value?
RonHast: We do, however, get input daily. Which sometimes is awesome.
cnmmnc: I still am imagining the flowers on top of the cars from a previous week
hrbeckham: more and more publications are going web only, Us News & Wsorld Report, Christian Science Monotor...whill our trade publications be next?
RonHast: And there are always issues to talk about. For sure. Next, I think, is the separation of death care and funerals!! -- to two different agendas as providers in a community.
Host_John: http://www.mcdonoughfuneralhome.com/Aboutus.htm
cnmmnc: well john, thats why people are 'walking away' from their properties
Host_John: flowers on the roof
POG70: Speaking of jealousy in the workplace, years ago i worked for a multi-location firm and we used after-service surveys. A fd at the branch in the next town got really aggravated because our branch received numerous favorable replies from families and all he received were complaints
angie: is everyone here in this chat room dual liscensed?
Host_John: no
hrbeckham: I am
Host_John: all are welcome here
Host_John: no license necessary
S_Moore: I am
RonHast: Dual licensing should not be a mandate.
POG70: <<<<i am.
Host_John: I am too
RonHast: If you are speaking of embalmers and funeral directors.
angie: well I am wondering where the jealousy topic stems from
Host_John: I disagree Ron
POG70: Angie, I think Nc now has a single license, is that right?
cnmmnc: practicioner of mortuary science
RonHast: Explain your position.
Host_John: I think the dual license keeps the numbers down
RonHast: What do you mean?
angie: Is it because some people have to embalm more than others or is there something I am missing?
Host_John: makes it more difficult for professional sales people to infiltrate our profession
nei_student: people want to either just embalm or jsut direct
angie: yes Nc has director and or embalmer liscense
Host_John: Owners need to know how to do both
RonHast: Embalming Is Not essential to death care and funeral service!
Host_John: yes it is
POG70: More complicated than that, angie. Jealousy appears in any workplace, supermarket or candle factory
hrbeckham: I have no problem with seperat licenses as long as the licence holder is qualified...ie trained, educated, and passed the board
Host_John: good point POG
angie: but I never imagined a funeral home
RonHast: Take the widow of a fine firm, who is wonderful in her service! Should she be mandated to embalm to provide a service to her community?
hrbeckham: just like any other work place
Host_John: what is your point ROn?
Host_John: she should get what ever she wants!
hrbeckham: the more people you have there the more complecated the relationships
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Host_John: good point Howard
hrbeckham: family, friends, employees
RonHast: No one should be mandated to be an embalmer to provide death care and comfort to the bereaved. Imagine, many places now, embalming does not even matter to the majority!!
hrbeckham: life is complex
Host_John: what is the scense in haveing a topic Ron?
Host_John: good employees are hard to keep happy
RonHast: Please explain...
cnmmnc: wow John what a great website your fair firm has got!
Host_John: TX cnm
hrbeckham: there is a need for fewer embalmers with cremation going up...but there is still a need for those trained in the handeling and presentation of remains
POG70: Angie, the same intrastaff pressures are in a funeral home as in other businesses. One thinks another gets the better assignments or gets more favorable treatment regarding off time, etc.
Host_John: Jealousy must be delt with or work will suffer
RonHast: Why should someone be mandated and licensed as an embalmer to provide a comfort service to the bereaved, especially if embalming is not an issue with them?
nei_student: men vs women jealousy
angie: I live in a small town with one funeral h ome. I just want to be an embalmer and take care of the family to make sure they are happy with their loved one. I guess in larger cities it doe get a little more complicated.
Host_John: no Jealousy of who gets the perceived easy work
angie: does
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Host_John: who has to make that 3 hour removal
Host_John: who has night time on call
RonHast: What is your point about a 3 hour removal/
POG70: angie, the larger the staff, the more liklihood of jealousy issues
cnmmnc: I do I do
Host_John: I get letters of complaing on how the boss lets certain people get all the good jobs
RonHast: angie...what is the point about being a licensed embalmer in a small town?
Host_John: communication is key
angie: I do know the embalmers do not like the directors because they will not order eye caps and mouth forms. They are more worried about saving a penny
Host_John: you should not ignore complaints from employees
POG70: or one has to emmbalm all the autopsy cases
RonHast: Nothing wrong with a licensed embalmer. But where is the mandat to be an embalmer for all death care needs?
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cnmmnc: angie the only firms that allow you to specialize are firm that have a vast amout of work
cnmmnc: amount
angie: you mean pick and choose what you want to do?
hrbeckham: In a smaller town, it works better to hire dual licensed individuals
Host_John: if your colleague is complaing about work, it shoud be addressed
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cnmmnc: "small town firms" cant afford to do that, you have to wear many hats
Host_John: ignoring the problem just makes it worse
RonHast: Are we all getting lost here?
POG70: angie, the bane of many an embalmer's life is the non-embalmer manager who penny-pinches on embalming supplies and equipment
Host_John: Cnmm you can use your IM with Ron to discuss your issue
hrbeckham: in the city...at the larger funeral homes...many Lfd's only meet with families...others do all the prep...and never see families
angie: I don't think it is fair to the client
cnmmnc: you mean angie
S_Moore: Angie the more education and training in all areas of death care makes you a more valuable employee
angie: The first time I saw someone's eyes get stuffed with cotton, I cringed
hrbeckham: Sam has it
Host_John: when a co-worker or emplyee is dis satisfied in the work place, the firm suffers
hrbeckham: you need to have happy employees
Host_John: Ill settle for content employees
cnmmnc: lol future competitors
hrbeckham: content is good
Host_John: why does s/he always drive the hearse?
POG70: The jealous employee is going to keep the staff unsettled
angie: isn't that petty stuff?
RonHast: We must be in tune with todays society, and meet their needs. Embalming is important, but should not be a mandate. Other societies do very well without it. Yet I have always said it it our best known method of presenting a body through the memorial event. But let's not get carried away with that ide
S_Moore: If you can not go to work each day prepared to get along it is time to find another profession
hrbeckham: I like to move around, do different things
Host_John: we want the most seasoned staff to drive the hearse
Host_John: simple explanation instead of Some day we will let you try it
cnmmnc: "the bosses daughter picks up the phone to listen to my conversations"
Host_John: foolish
Host_John: I hear that when I call funeral homes
hrbeckham: heavy breathing?
angie: hr i am with you. I want to do different things
POG70: cnmmnc, you need a phone system that prevents that
Host_John: no you need to talk to the employee that does that
cnmmnc: I think its the little "pecks' they make at you, a little bit each day, that get on one's nerves
RonHast: One certainly wonders what the motivation of "listening in" may be, other than lack of trust of those assigned to phone responses.
POG70: the boiss's daughter
POG70: most likely
Host_John: silly, but when the boss does it, it is OK
RonHast: And the telephone is a Major factor in death care. And so many are truly pitiful. No personality, order takers, such a shame.
Host_John: no matter the profession, but if it bothers you talk to the boss about it
POG70: It is not ok, it's just that cnmmnc can do nothing about it\
Host_John: BRB
cnmmnc: then again, there's the " Too many chiefs and too few Indians" routine, everyone's a boss, everyone's the king of the hill...
POG70: Listening in on another's conversation is also a ploy to try to "get something:" on the employee for whatever imagined advantage might ensue
RonHast: Every day is a learning experience. Thanks for today. R.
hrbeckham: Ron, what will be the main issues in our b usiness for the next 6 months?
RonHast: Hmm. Honesty, sincere effort to meet peoples needs. That may not satisfy our financial goals, and yet it may.
Host_John: seems we are burnt out on the topic OPEN FORUM FUNERAL CHATTER UNTIL NEXT TIME