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WELCOME, glad you could visit us, OUR TOPIC: "THE CHURCH FUNERAL" THIS CHAT WILL PROBABLY BE COPIED TO www.funeralserviceprofessional.com FOR ANYONE TO ENJOY LATER. Just a few rules for everyone: 1. USE ONLY PLAIN BLACK TEXT 2 DO NOT USE COMPANY NAMES 3 DISCRIMINATION IS NOT ALLOWED. If you would like chat reminders please send to: LOWELLMA@AOL.COM
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Host_John: HELLO everyone
Host_John: Happy Thanksgivig
Host_John: tonights topic "the Church Funeral
Host_John: do you see them keeping the same popularity as always?
david1990: Out of the few months I've been working at the funeral home we have only had one i think
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david1990: They just don't seem to be as normal as they used to.
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Host_John: all yours are in the funeral home David?
david1990: Yes
Host_John: with the younger generation not going to church it was suggested we have this topic
david1990: I've been working at my towns Fh since June and they have either been graveside or @ the funeral home
Host_John: have your colleagues been thinking of how this will effect the future of funerals?
david1990: I'm not sure, It has never really been discussed among us that I can remember.
david1990: It seems tho that when i was younger they were all at churches around here.
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Host_John: what state are you in David?
Host_John: I see the church funerals much less in demand
Host_John: clergy being picky about time of service is the issue
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david1990: I'm located in Il
Host_John: most want a 10 or 11AM service
Host_John: clergy want 9 am in church
Host_John: Illinois David?
david1990: Yes
Host_John: the cozyness of the funeral home is a factor too
Host_John: we are climate controled
Host_John: if we can get the clergy to come to the Funeral Home the family is happy
Host_John: seems the orthodox churches still enjoy a good following for Church funerals
david1990: The Fd I work for owns 5 funeral homes and only one of them is not actually a house. The other 4 are all very old styled very open and large home-like buildings that were made into Fhs
Host_John: ours is an old home too David
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Host_John: Hello Sam
david1990: Also 3 of those funeral homes have residents in them that keep them feeling that way. Its always a warm welcoming kind of feeling going into them, atleast to me.
Host_John: a good practice David
Sam_Moore: Hi John and all
david1990: Hello sam
Host_John: for the church funeral
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Host_John: how many staff do you bring to church
Host_John: we usually bring 5 staff
Sam_Moore: 2 maybe 3 dependent on the number of flowers
david1990: At our 5th location which is also a crematory we have a funeral director and his son running and the other 4 our the funeral director I work for and another guy besides myself
Host_John: we have one do the doors, two on the casket, and two with the family
david1990: Normally just us 3 are our scattered about
Host_John: the in funeral home service we do with all in house staff
Host_John: no extra help needed
Host_John: sounds like it's working for you David and Sam
Host_John: churches here have us take flowers out after the service
david1990: It work's out pretty good in my opinoin. Although our funeral home and our towns don't do near the amount you guys do.
Host_John: one or two keep them for their beauty
Sam_Moore: we work but it is usually pretty simple. we have done 13 services including gravesides with 9 staff members
Sam_Moore: that was dancing
Host_John: I hate those extra busy days too Sam
david1990: I agree.
Sam_Moore: we have them every friday and saturday
david1990: 5 funeral homes keeps my partner and I busy
Sam_Moore: we all discuss the game plan and the back up system when we first arrive in the morning
Sam_Moore: then we all pitch in to get everyone loaded and do flower presets
Sam_Moore: sometimes we have to unload the casket and take the coach away
Host_John: if it is working for you Sam go with it
Host_John: here we get extra vehicles
Sam_Moore: some how it does
david1990: Those are definitely nice to have
Host_John: family would never wait for hearse to re-show at church
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Host_John: we rent them from other funeral homes
Sam_Moore: we have about 68 employees and most of them can fill in to direct traffic or set up
Host_John: Hi Ron
Host_John: good they are versatile
RonHast: Hi 2 U John
Sam_Moore: not at church John, in the park
Sam_Moore: after delivery to graveside the coach just leaves
david1990: We have one hearse between our 5 and its always being moved around
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Host_John: still Sam, they would not tolorate waiting for a hearse
Sam_Moore: they dont have too
Host_John: we hire the hearse for each funeral
Host_John: the family is paying for an exclusive vehicle?
Brud: how many calls a year do you do John?
Sam_Moore: we have 4 coaches and do a lot of presetting for gravesides
Host_John: we do 150ish
RonHast: david 1990 why would a hearse be so scarse at a funeral?
Brud: enuf to keep you out of trouble
RonHast: scarce (sp?)
david1990: We keep our funerals spread apart enough that its never scarce
Host_John: we do OK
Host_John: how do you spread the funerals apart David?
RonHast: John -- careful scheduling can make the most of the staff and equipment. It's very important!!
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Host_John: we are at the mercy of the church
david1990: I'm really not sure I'm never part of the planning but for instance we will have a funeral at one location at 10. and directly after that we will have another funeral at a different location
david1990: we have time slots
Host_John: most of our funerals are held in church
Host_John: here clergy dictate the times
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david1990: I dont think any of the clergy around here really care as much as to what time
david1990: I've never heard any of them say they cant do it because of a certain time or anything
Host_John: if we could we would do a funeral every three hours
RonHast: One firm with 16 locations did a masterful job of scheduling funerals: 9-10 a.m. out -- 11:30 in -- 1:00 out -- 3:30 in. Then you can use all of your staff primarily, and only hire in on unusual situations.
david1990: Thats somewhat like how ours is set up
Host_John: I agree Ron that works fantastically
RonHast: Out meaning churches and cemetery chapels, in meaning funeral home chapels.
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Host_John: some churches will work with us others will not
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david1990: I think the fact that we are in a very small town and everybody knows everybody it just all flows together
RonHast: Our firm could handle many funerals every day, knowing the details of the churches and their habits, etc.
daveB: late comer on info sorry i will pick up here
Host_John: Please do DaveB
daveB: hey john
Host_John: HI dave
RonHast: We typically had 7 hearses and 9 limos, and they could really cover a lot of funerals with careful scheduling.
daveB: we have situattions like one priest for 3 churches then what
Host_John: we have buddhist monks that require the funeral be over and they be back in the temple by 11 AM
Host_John: so we leave early on those days
RonHast: Limos are more of a challenge, because of family delays, and destinations not so predictable.
david1990: We always drive out the day before to make sure we know where our destination is
RonHast: Very good practice david...
Host_John: with the GPS and Google Earth, the drive out to the church or cem the day before is not as necessary as it once was
RonHast: But in our greater area, for the most part, we could usually predict time if we knew who the clergyperson was.
daveB: oh but Gps can send u many Odd ways
david1990: There was one instance a funeral home from a good 20+ miles away were coming to a cemetary near my town and ended up making several wrong turns with the procession behind them
Host_John: if the church is unfirmiluar to us we will send staff there with a camera to take and send us photos of what we can expect
RonHast: That can be do embarrassing and shows lack of planning.
david1990: That's a very good idea john
Host_John: Good Earth is fact
Host_John: photos are remarkable tool
Host_John: for cemeterys too
daveB: hehehe it is therd znd you can get her many ways
daveB: get ther many ways sorry
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Host_John: good point all roads leed to Rome
david1990: Whenever I had to drive I was luckily in the hearse behind the lead car
Host_John: OPEN FORUM FUNERAL CHATTER UNTIL THE TOP OF THE HOUR
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Host_John: HI TOM
daveB: I relied on my Gps once and ran a procession down logging roads
Tom: Hi John
daveB: aaahhhh
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RonHast: Many funeral directors seem to be overly casual about their mannerisms at churches. Other are very smooth and organized and it really shows.
david1990: The Fd at our 5th location mentioned that he got a newer Gps for christmas and was using it during a procession and said once he got to the cemetary it asked what plot.
Host_John: We use the GPS a lot and have had much success with it, although we do keep mapquest directions and Google Earth Satalite in mind too, the I-Phone is a nice tool
RonHast: The best funerals are achieved when everything goes very smoothly, and the funeral staff is Not Visible. Others believe they must "run around" and be very visible. Think about the differences!
daveB: seanless is the word
Host_John: Ron to a degree we are in show business
daveB: seamless
daveB: darn
RonHast: It can only be grandstanding trying to be visible.
Host_John: agreed
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david1990: normally when we do in funeral home funerals my partner and I are at the door- one opening and another guiding them to the chapel and the director is in the office doing paperwork
fluidpusher: Nothing wrong with letting people see you doing your job
RonHast: Show business does not include the directors and camera people being featured.
Host_John: but it can be tactfully done and impressive
RonHast: Quiet dignity stands at the top.
daveB: admit -- there are a lot of showboaters in the biz
CCowan: Hi, Everybody
Host_John: No but knowing side access and staircases behind closed doors is nice to know ahead of time
Host_John: Hello CC
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RonHast: There are differences of opinion. The class firms seem to favor the conservative approach....
CCowan: Hey there, John
Host_John: put the casket up on the altar sounds easy until you get there and see there is a set of narrow stairs to the altar
Host_John: a photo to the staff takes all the guessing out of the issue
fluidpusher: never let em see you sweat
RonHast: The family, the decedent and their guests are the featured parties at the event!!
daveB: yes sir
david1990: yep
fluidpusher: always good to do a dry run to an unfamiliar church the day before if possible
Host_John: yes they are and a smooth transition into church is appreciated
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CCowan: agree, about the dry run a day before, that way you know what your up against
fluidpusher: And take a church truck..........
RonHast: Another issue is the importance of handling flowers in church. Some do it carefully. Others pile them up, drag them around, stuff them in a van. Those are the gifts given by attendees and others and they can observe the care or lack of care given to them.
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david1990: Very true Ron
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Host_John: it's 20 degrees with wind, people want out of the cold and into a warm church, we need to get them in and keep the church doors closed as much as possible, that takes planning
RonHast: Glad we don't have snow, ice, extreme cold or heat out here. The main issue is our "careful" and "thoughtful" moves in whatever we are responsible for.
Host_John: moving flowers can be made easier by utilizing the family pall bearers to assist in moving flowers safely and swiftly
david1990: Thats somthing we never do
Host_John: the first person on site reports the conditions of parking and the outside of the church
david1990: the funeral director and assistant work on getting the casket sealed while I take flowers out to the lead car most times
harper: we have the pallbearers help with the flowers for church or funeral home
Tom: We would hire the local florist that made most of the flowers to help transport, and most would be happy to do it to make sure there flowers look nice
Host_John: we use family pall bearers almost every funeral and they move the flowers too
RonHast: John -- I hate to disagree with you -- but that may not be the most professional way to do it. If it is our job, then we need to do it. To allow a guest pallbearer to be covered in pollen and other stuff, is not too nice. If we charge to care for and transfer flowers, or if we don't, then we must
Host_John: Ron yesteryear we did do that, until we got complaints from the participating pall bearers they they felt wasted since they did very little
Tom: What do you think about using the local florist Ron,,, they certainly now how to transport the flowers better than we do
Tom: know how
Host_John: we developed a plan where the watch a video on how to move flowers and carry the casket
RonHast: If the family can "haul" the flowers in a friends pickup, or carry them around, then maybe a friend could loan his Suv, and all of a sudden they can find a way to do it all themselves.
Host_John: I am telling you they like it
Host_John: most of our funerals have 25 or so pieces of flowers
david1990: We normally just tell them when we get to the cemetary which way to face whether its backs to the hearse or facing the hearse itself and simply pull the casket out to them off the rollers
RonHast: Many do use florists -- and they are usually glad to do it. And you are right, that is their expertise. And they usually do not pile them up or in a van because they often made them. Can be a good idea and good relations.
Tom: The answer is, don't charge for loading flowers if pallbearer want to do it
Host_John: the number of flowers helps us gage how large the funeral will be
david1990: thats how we base our size- off the flowers that arrive
RonHast: I do know of funeral homes that refer florists with the understanding they will provide bouts for pallbearers, and transport the flowers after the funeral. It's a nice relationship.. Some have the arrangement that whoever sells the casket piece and family choices, they are the transport.
Host_John: website visits is another gage of size
Tom: We always had the florist that did the casket piece supply the bouts
fluidpusher: We use a separate flower van/driver on every funeral. Flowers are delivered and set up before procession gets there.
Host_John: what is a Bout?
RonHast: That's the appropriate way. The family arrives and observes the grave all decorated with no fuss or confusion. Anything less is less than first class.
RonHast: Carnation. Boutinnare (sp?)
Tom: We had the flower car get in an accident on the way to the cemetery.... one time... no flowers at the graveside ??? everyone wondered what happened..
RonHast: For the pallbearers.
fluidpusher: Occasionally someone will notice and ask, "How did you do that?"
Host_John: Oh Understood, we dont have them here
fluidpusher: And the flower car must go to the correct cemetery...
david1990: My partner and I set up the flowers around the grave as the director opens the vehicle doors for them to go to the grave and while pallbearers meet at the hearse
Tom: Everyone use pallbearer gloves at church services ?
fluidpusher: No gloves here
fluidpusher: I remember them, though
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david1990: none here
harper: what if you have a 200 foot walk to the gravesite
Host_John: No gloves here, we are looking into it now
RonHast: b Always provided lapel flowers (bouts) for pallbears on funerals. It identifies them as special, and they were always asked at the end of the service at the grave to place theirs on top of the casket. A nice ending touch.
Host_John: where can we get good gloves at a good price
fluidpusher: hope they ate their wheaties, harper
CCowan: the largest firm in my area uses pb gloves. has for a long time
harper: no gloves here
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RonHast: Gloves are rare in our region also. A long-past tradition. More common in the east I think where cold weather might be a factor.
Host_John: nice white gloves are a nice touch
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CCowan: that's a nice touch, bouts on the casket, Rom
CCowan: sorry, Ron
RonHast: Yes John, many follow that tradition.
harper: good one, fluidpusher
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RonHast: And after 51 years doing this, I can't spell boutinaire (%%%%!)
Host_John: I would not even attempt to spell that word Ron
RonHast: Does anyone know how to spell it from memory?
david1990: Same here
RonHast: I tried it just now on my computer, and it fell dead all over the place itself.
david1990: boutinniere is what my spellcheck gave me.
Tom: Boutinaires
CCowan: think you're right, David
david1990: I never learned that word in school
david1990: or atleast had to know how to spell
RonHast: This is crazy. Soon I will memorize it for sure.
Host_John: boutonniere is on Dictionary.com
Tom: My spell check says: Boutonnieres
RonHast: Thanks guys and gals. Every day is a learning experience.
david1990: Indeed it is
Tom: Thanks to computers and internet you can look things up fast...
RonHast: Most are carnations that work well with stem off. Others can be a small yellow rose, or red rose, or sprig of flowers. But it identifies pallbearers and is a nice touch always.
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Tom: It's sure hard to keep learning what you once knew before
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RonHast: Gotta go. Will forever remember this forum taught me how to spell boutonnieres. Muchas Gracias! :-)
Tom: Nite ron
Host_John: Night ROn
Host_John: Back on topic at the top of the hour
david1990: have a good night Ron
Tom: We will learn a new word each week
Host_John: The Church Funeral
RonHast: Thanks for the chat. R.
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CCowan: Later, Ron
Tom: I don't think we ever left the topic John
Tom: Does everyone use automobile stickers at church services
Host_John: we use orange funeral flags
Tom: You know it's sometimes the little things people remember,,, pallbearer gloves, boutonnieres, auto stickers... etc..
david1990: we stick with just the flags
Tom: The magnetic ones ?
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david1990: yeah
cnmmnc: So what is the actual topic tonight?
Tom: how about name tags for the directors... anyone uses them
Host_John: yes the magnetic ones
Tom: Church services
CCowan: Hi, cn
david1990: I would love name tags
cnmmnc: Gentlemen, good evening
Tom: It should show the topic when you enter the room... if you missed it you can leave and come back in
Host_John: hello Cnmm
cnmmnc: "The Church Funeral"
Tom: So why don't you get name tags david 1990
Host_John: we are seeing a slight drop in church funerals for the service in the funeral home
CCowan: I know a few firms in my area use name tags
Host_John: what are you seeing?
cnmmnc: One pastor gives the weather report
david1990: I'm only the assistant
david1990: but being 18 and just starting out in the business i get alot of "do you work here" stuff
Tom: So get one that says assistant David
cnmmnc: "On this windy day...the Lord wants us to arrive safly so remember to bundle up"
david1990: haha Im not sure if the director would go for that or not
cnmmnc: lol safely
Tom: Then when they ask you if you work here, you can say I'm only the assistant like the name tag says
propilot1982: cnmmnc hi
cnmmnc: hey kiddo
david1990: I did get thrilled the other day because one of the family memembers asked me to remove a ring from the deceased's finger
propilot1982: cnmmnc how is the biz in nj
cnmmnc: what was so thrilling?
david1990: i felt useful as an assitant
david1990: assistant*
Tom: Wow, I didn't know assistants were authorized to do that David
david1990: well sadly i didnt get to
cnmmnc: oh I always felt thilled when the checks came in
david1990: she later came back and said they would wait til the service which was the following day
david1990: but i had school so i missed it
david1990: but still the fact i was asked to do somthing like that made me feel special
cnmmnc: aww
david1990: so i relayed it to the director and im assuming he did it
Host_John: good time for age, gender, location check please
CCowan: Yes, I would have felt honored to do such a thing
Host_John: 60, M, Lovely Lowell Massachusetts USA
CCowan: f, mi
CCowan: 54
david1990: 18,m, Rochester Il
propilot1982: 26m ny
Tom: Does anyone use a checklist of thinks to remove or do before closing and casket at the church and going to the cemetery
cnmmnc: 33 boy my living room
Tom: We always had a check list in the Register Book box.. like remove Rings etc...
CCowan: good one cnmmnc
Host_John: we do that Tom we send questionaire home from arrangements
cnmmnc: yes, you should Always write these things down
Tom: One time the mortuary had to disinter the casket to get the ring someone forgot to remove
david1990: The only thing i think i have ever seen removed would be a pair of glasses, which were then placed under the hands
CCowan: writing it down helps you remember
cnmmnc: I had to do a disinterment because the daughter wanted her fathers watch back
Tom: 56, M, Terminator state
propilot1982: how much is too a disinterment?
CCowan: cn, how long did she wait to ask for it back
Tom: Same as opening and closing fee
cnmmnc: oh propiolet I'll be in your neck o' the woods tuesday, I have a graveside at New Montifiore
CCowan: Cold Play is on now on the music awards
cnmmnc: Oh it was 2-3 weeks later
mactj2: not sounding too good
cnmmnc: she didnt once question the cost she wanted that watch...lol
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CCowan: God Bless her. It helps her remember Dad
propilot1982: tom any news on poway fh?
cnmmnc: I wouldnt want to wear it though ;-)
cnmmnc: personally...
david1990: I agree
cnmmnc: I thought it was crazy but you know, "ours is not to question why, ours is to do...."
cnmmnc: I had a lady disinter her husband from the grave to a mausoleum she first wanted to see him so I had to talk her into her senses
Tom: So are church services on the decline ?
david1990: In our little town, yes.
Host_John: to a small degee I think they are in decline
cnmmnc: I remember she asked me afterwards what color tie he was wearing
Host_John: baseing that on the lack of young people at sunday church
Tom: What about Memorial services... do you get many Church memorial services
cnmmnc: I have a few pastors in catholic churches send nuns to do vigil and commital
cnmmnc: 1-2 out of 10
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Host_John: not many memorial services here
Tom: I know the ministers get an honorarium... but are they wanting to charge for the use of the Church now, do to heating and electrical cost ?
Host_John: we do get more memorial services in the funeralhome than we ever imagined
cnmmnc: we always got them to write a check
david1990: We have alot of memorials at the Fh too.
cnmmnc: I had a mem. serv. for a lady who was Born in the fun. home 80 something years ago
david1990: wow
Tom: I worked at a funeral home that used to be a hospital....
Tom: the embalming room was the old operating room
Host_John: thats cool cnmm
Tom: had some of the people born there were buried through there.
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cnmmnc: that was very nice, we decorated the room like a house and started the service welcoming everyone to Grandma's house
Marcia: hello
Host_John: Hi Marcia
Tom: Hello Marcia
jewboy: Hello, Marcia
Host_John: welcome to grandma's house is interesting
Host_John: was that by family request Cnmm
cnmmnc: well I figured it was at one time
cnmmnc: no I just thought it was true
Host_John: if hte family was happy that is all that really conts
david1990: Yes
jewboy: I have a question guys and girls. Do you really like working funerals or memorial services? Viso's too?
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cnmmnc: whats a viso
Host_John: I enjoy working funerals
jewboy: Sorry, visitations.
Tom: I liked working Funerals ... I don't do it anymore
cnmmnc: ahh
david1990: I enjoy working the funerals
Tom: We certainly don't do it for the money
david1990: Not at all tom
cnmmnc: well you know, theyre all the same but theyre all different too
jewboy: I could not do it. It is the most boring thing for me.
Host_John: any concluding comments on church funerals?
cnmmnc: Amen!
Tom: If you don't enjoy the work you need to look for another occupation... it will definetly show you you don't like what you doing
Tom: if you don't like
jewboy: I am a barber, who is selling his barber shop. Going back to an embalming service
Marcia: The church funeral is great, I love doing those the most, although it does take more people power to get them done, they are here to stay
jewboy: After 22 years out of embalming school, I still love to embalm.
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Tom: Barbering is very much like funeral work,,, you need to be good around people
jewboy: Tom, you are correct. I Do Not Talk To Them Much, Just Cut There Hair And Give Me Ten Dollars. Thank You Very Much
cnmmnc: $10!
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cnmmnc: thats very reasonable
Tom: I'm a trade embalmer now... I once said i'd like to be in the embalming room and that's it, but I miss being around people... well most people
Host_John: We have an early one tommorrow morning so I thank you all for coming and Ill see you here next time HAPPY THANKSGIVING to you and your family.
jewboy: Give me 8 min, also
Host_John: Night All